You’ve got till tomorrow to pay up, pal…

December 14, 2011


Blog Guy, I know you’re following the New Hampshire primary closely for your readers. All state primaries follow pretty much the same format, right?

Not at all. The New Hampshire race mainly involves a series of physical challenges between hopefuls and local voters. The one who wins the most fights wins the primary.

Wait just a minute, Blog Guy. Is that really true?

Sure. Here you can see former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney arm-wrestling a barber in Manchester. Romney beat the guy.

And here on the right is a photo of almost-candidate Donald Trump, picking a fight with a New Hampshire resident a few months ago. It’s a very brutal system.

Why don’t you have photos of the other front-runner, Newt Gingrich, in one of these fights.

As you can see here, Newt tends to hide and then jump out at the last minute.

This is very stupid, Blog Guy. Hey, in that other shot, why does the guy Romney just beat look so upset, like he’s gonna cry?

Oh, Romney just explained they had a $10,000 bet on the match.

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Top and right: Republican presidential candidate and former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney (R) talks to barber Willie Babeau at Chez Vachon Restaurant in Manchester, New Hampshire December 12, 2011. REUTERS/Brian Snyder

Right: Real estate magnate Donald Trump jokes with Robert La Mattina, owner of Tokyo Joe’s School of Self Defense in Nashua, New Hampshire while touring a Greater Nashua Chamber of Commerce business expo at the Radisson Hotel in Nashua, New Hampshire, May 11 2011. REUTERS/Don Himsel/Pool

Left: U.S. Republican presidential candidate former U.S. House Speaker Newt Gingrich covers his face with his hands during his Lincoln-Douglas style debate at St. Anselm College in Manchester, New Hampshire December 12, 2011. REUTERS/Brian Snyder

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Playing Peek-a-boo during the debates to see if the audience ie paying attention. Tricky thing is if the candidates don’t uncover their eyes quickly enough, the audience slips out the door.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Where is the non-violent Scissors, Paper, Rock Party in all of this?????

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Photo 1: Romney cheated. His elbow is off the table.
Photo 1, comment 2: Michelle Obama could beat Mitt Romney at arm-westling any day. 11/12/01/a-chance-to-arm-wrestle-who/
Photo 2: Is Trump doing a faux salsa to “Hot, Hot, Hot” or pretending to be engaged in self defense?
Photo 3: Newt, we like it better, too, when we can’t see you.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Blog Guy, I had no idea that’s how elections worked in New Hampshire. That’s one interesting system — especially because it does not require candidates to hold corn, corn dogs, wurst, pork chops, or even pancakes.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

@Onedoor: Thanks for the laughs. If th Scissors, Paper, Rock Party is non-violent, then perhaps they’re hanging out with the Occupy Wall Street crowd.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

I humbly offer a haiku:

Candidates are strong
Fighting their way to the top
New Hampshire voting

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Ah, @One, I prefer the rock, scissors, nuclear (excuse me, nookular) warhead version of that game…

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Boy, these Reuters photographers are on the ball…but the guy who writes the cutlines drops the ball too much: Michelle “talking” with that student…Mitt “talking” to that barber…. Or is “talking” the new Political Secret Code Word for arm wrestling? As in, “Hey you guys, come over here. I’d like to have a WORD with you.”

Posted by Moonshine | Report as abusive

Is it just me or does Newt kind of look like Pop-In-Fresh without the chefs hat?

Next GOP debate: Steel Cage Match!

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

Arm wrestling for votes. I guess that’s one way to pull in the swing states…

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

One last riff on Shakespeare:

Once more unto the Blog, dear friends, once more;
Or close up this space with our wasted text!
In these fat and pursy times, there’s nothing so becomes
An OE commentor as the barbs and thorns
Of deserved scorn. Practice puns, whistle off word-play
Let fly with haiku and limericks, comment to the hilt!
Apply SARCASM in copious amounts; tear down the fat bacons
Of bombast: Pillory prevaricating poltroons
Of pompous political pretention!
“Come and see the violence inherent in the system!”
We must not rest yet! Dishonour not your grandmothers,
Who would twist the ears of these silver-tongued mongrels!
Now set the teeth, and stretch the nostril wide
“Unclog your nose at them” while you flex your biceps
Wrestle them with wit till they cry ‘uncle’.
Let us oil up the trebuchet one last time
And lob the corn-cobs and horrible hair-pieces of fate
O’er their battlements! Storm the castle!
For there is none of you so mean and base,
That hath not noble lustre in your eyes.
And in some cases exoskeletons (that means you George).
My lady Shra, is thy taser charged? Frisco and Spin,
Art armed with fresh riffs? Cole Porter must not sleep!Georgia and ‘lala,
Let thy wit like the Moon Shine on our endeavour.
Sir Dave_not_Dave let slip the Goat of War,
Let ‘im nibble their bums! Onedoor and Nosmo
Malteser and Jazz, JustCam and sister too–
I see you stomp like the noble bulls, goring sequen’d and bedecked bullfighin’ twits with the sharpened swords of thy wit!
Mr. Pilot, think on thy Miranda as thou fly
The new BT-70 o’er the UWAA, pelting them with rubber chickens–
Doc, wear thy fedora and pour us another drink,
Crowgirl, harness thy pigs to thy chariot and lob thy explosives!
The game’s afoot:
Follow your spirit, and upon this charge
Cry ‘Huzzah!’one last time for Prince Charlie and OEB!
Lamar and the Blog Guy!!!

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

@jclimacus: Wow! That is amazing.
Were the words “rubber chickens” part of the original Shakespeare?

BTW, there is a rubber chicken sitting next to me in the office. Should I offer him up for the effort?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

@ Spin, “rubber chicken” is a cheap modernization which hacks such as myself resort to in a pinch. The original Shakespeare would have been the “false fowl of flaggelation” used in the long lost 156th sonnet, which unfortunately is too smeared with barbeque sauce to read. As far as “offering him up”,sure why not if the caue is right? I too had a rubber chicken by my side, until Mr. Spam Filter confiscated him. I think its in the custody of non-081 down in the dunge–er, I mean the cafeteria 😛

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

Aw, thanks jclimacus. :)

I’d vote for the Scissors, Paper, Stone Party. It’s how we settle disputes between me and the boss at work.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

@jclimacus081..dude you are a genius! Why didn’t we think of it before? Get the UWAA in here to keep the blog going! Who at Reuters is dare going to challenge the UWAA? And to add some extra might to the cause we need the Oddly Enough Stiletto Unit to form again! Come one everyone, one last charge for the OE blog!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

@ifly: Sadly, desperate times call for desperate measures, so “Release the Badgers!” Rodents for the Blog! As the estimable Mr. Badger from Wind in the Willows says, “…we don’t want to teach them, no, we want to LEARN ’em. There’s a difference.” Think of it as the difference between me, or, you or anyone for that matter trying to rationally convince the chief Vogons at Reuters to reverse their ill-conceived notions, vs. our own beloved Shra with her special brand of electric persuasion. Well reason has not worked, so a more aggressive brand of negotation is now called for, so once again, I say, “Release the Badgers!!!” (and Shra, ‘fire at will!’ I say)

Stilettos? An OE Stiletto Unit? Intriguing idea! I admit my own knowledge of blog lore is deficient in this area.

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

@jclimacus: Brilliant!

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

@ladylala: I’m sooo going to miss you and your Lamar, oh and Ma too! I know the three of you will live happily ever after, once Lamar finishes his GED 😛

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

I’d gladly wear stilettos.
and next to badgers fight;
I’d stomp on toes and wring their nose
all throughout the night.
I’d pass the plate of doughnuts,
for this worthy cause.
Oh, please give us the OE Blog
Mr. Reuters Santa Claus!

I really like everyone on the blog; that means you, too, George!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Shakespeare brutalised
In a post by jclima:
Hats off to you mate!

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

JC: Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
Yes, the OESU can help with stilletos on their feet and an extra pair in their hands!
I wish I could tase everyone on Reuters responsible for the demise of this blog.

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive