Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Peel faster if you wanna be president!

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Blog Guy, I’ve been trying to get a job in the exciting outdoor food service industry, and there aren’t any. Do you know why?

Of course. Politicians and celebrities are taking all of them.

Yes! That’s what happened to me! I tried getting work peeling potatoes in Ireland, and they gave the position to a presidential candidate, instead!

Sadly, it’s happening everywhere. Penny-pinching owners of public food stalls are finding VIPs more than willing to do the work, without even having to get pesky health department certifications and stuff like that.

Look at these photos. Sarah Palin serving hot dogs, Kate Middleton flipping pancakes…

Who’s the cutest one of all?

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I’m going to do something a little different today.

There is this writer named Bart King, whose job is almost as much fun as mine. He turns out books with titles like “Big Book of Gross Stuff” and “Pocket Guide to Mischief.”

His latest one, called “Cute! A Guide to All Things Adorable,” has just been published, and I enjoyed it very much. Bart offers clever insight into what makes things seem cute, and why.

Duchess, the sun never sets on the British vampire…

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I’ll admit I was skeptical when I saw photos of the cast of yet another TV movie about Prince William and Kate Middleton. Did we really need this? I mean, I guess maybe if they found a dead ringer to play Kate… Nope, that’s not it…

Let’s see, according to IMDB, the movie was shot in ROMANIA? Huh? Well, that’s different. Now I get it! These clever folks have added an element of horror to the story:

We’ve got fresh Kate, direct from Canada!

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Blog Guy, I have a complaint. Kate Middleton has been in Canada for several days now and you’ve written nothing about it, even though some of your readers are seriously addicted to her.

Look, I no longer actually cover stories, but I’m a professional, so I can wing it by looking at our photo file. Here you go.

Sweet revenge against extremists?

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Okay, here is another real news story that is so goofy I don’t know what to make of it.

It has been reported from London that British spies hacked into an al Qaeda Website to replace instructions on how to build a bomb with recipes for making cupcakes.

Cutest bear on earth visits my blog

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Blog Guy, have you ever done anything as a blogger that you’re really ashamed of?

Nothing that anybody can prove.

Really? Nothing?

Okay, okay, I guess you’ve heard I hired Medo the Bear Cub to do cute stuff on my blog today. I mean, we’re heading into the summer lull and I need the traffic.

Hot motorcycle chicks lookin’ for bald guys

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Blog Guy, will you please set up one of your famous fantasy photos for me?

What do you have in mind?

Well, I want to be in it myself. I’ll be in a train station…

Already I don’t like where this is going.

See, this gorgeous brunette – like Kate Middleton, only much prettier – dressed all in black, with stiletto boots, roars up on a big red BSA Spitfire and stops to let me on the back…

I’m gonna stop you right there, Ace. Let me take a wild guess. You’re over 60, you’re losing your hair and you’re no Brad Pitt. Am I right?

Could this be how they tracked Osama?

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Blog Guy, you’re the only one I trust to come up with the real story on how they got Osama bin Laden. There has to be more to it than merely a decade of meticulous hard work by the military and intelligence agencies.

I can’t talk about it. It’s too sensitive.

Come on, Blog Guy. Look, I wouldn’t be online if I couldn’t keep a secret, and we’ve already established that it’s safe to put it in your blog, since nobody looks here.

There’s got to be a morning after…

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Blog Guy, it’s me again. That guy you got hooked on Kate Middleton pictures. What do you have for me today?

Are you serious? We gave you 62,000 photos of her yesterday. Give the woman some peace. Give me some peace, too.

That’s what a royal wedding looks like

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Okay, I know when I’ve lost. I had planned to avoid doing anything on the Big Event today because why should my blog look like all the rest?

But many readers have said they couldn’t find stuff about the wedding anywhere else, and they’ve begged me for fresh pictures and details, so I guess I’ll have to pander just a bit.