Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Dispensing with Kate Middleton

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pez faces 490

Blog Guy, now that Prince William’s royal wedding is less than a month away, what’s the strangest souvenir you’ve seen so far?

AUSTRIA/That would be this set of PEZ dispensers, one of which features the prince. The candy comes out where it usually does, I guess.

Who’s that female person on the other dispenser?

Um, that looks like Morticia, from the Addams Family, with a mouthful of mashed potatoes she hasn’t swallowed yet, and….

You’re a total moron, Blog Guy. According to your own photo caption below, that’s William’s fiancée, the wonderful Kate Middleton.

We’ve got fresh Kate, direct from Canada!

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Blog Guy, I have a complaint. Kate Middleton has been in Canada for several days now and you’ve written nothing about it, even though some of your readers are seriously addicted to her.

Look, I no longer actually cover stories, but I’m a professional, so I can wing it by looking at our photo file. Here you go.

A fresh supply of Kate hits the streets…

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, it’s me. One of the junkies you got hooked on Prince William’s fiancée, Kate Middleton.

kate tape this 300There’s word going around the streets that a fresh supply of Kate photos has been smuggled in, maybe from Mexico…

Souvenirs: Selling Kate by the crate?

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Blog Guy, I see they’re churning out all kinds of memorabilia in advance of Britain’s royal wedding next month.

kate face 280I’ll bet it will really sell, considering Kate Middleton is so popular and beautiful. Have any artists done an especially unusual job of capturing the charms of this lovely young woman?

Just like Kate, only different…

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, you gotta help me! I haven’t had a new photo of Kate Middleton for four days now. I need a fix, dude.

Hey, she’s Prince William’s fiancée. I don’t control her movements.

It’s all Kate, all the time…

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kate middleton this 490

Blog Guy, where is a good place to go for coverage of Kate Middleton, that fiancée of Britain’s Prince William?

BRITAIN-ROYALS/You even have to ask? My blog is all Kate, all the time. One-stop shopping. She appeared at a couple of events this week, and by my count we got 97 new photos of her. I’m sorry it wasn’t 100, but we’ll try to do better.

Peel faster if you wanna be president!

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Blog Guy, I’ve been trying to get a job in the exciting outdoor food service industry, and there aren’t any. Do you know why?

Of course. Politicians and celebrities are taking all of them.

Yes! That’s what happened to me! I tried getting work peeling potatoes in Ireland, and they gave the position to a presidential candidate, instead!

Who’s the cutest one of all?

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I’m going to do something a little different today.

There is this writer named Bart King, whose job is almost as much fun as mine. He turns out books with titles like “Big Book of Gross Stuff” and “Pocket Guide to Mischief.”

His latest one, called “Cute! A Guide to All Things Adorable,” has just been published, and I enjoyed it very much. Bart offers clever insight into what makes things seem cute, and why.

Duchess, the sun never sets on the British vampire…

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I’ll admit I was skeptical when I saw photos of the cast of yet another TV movie about Prince William and Kate Middleton. Did we really need this? I mean, I guess maybe if they found a dead ringer to play Kate… Nope, that’s not it…

Let’s see, according to IMDB, the movie was shot in ROMANIA? Huh? Well, that’s different. Now I get it! These clever folks have added an element of horror to the story:

Sweet revenge against extremists?

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Okay, here is another real news story that is so goofy I don’t know what to make of it.

It has been reported from London that British spies hacked into an al Qaeda Website to replace instructions on how to build a bomb with recipes for making cupcakes.