Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Who’s the cutest one of all?

Photo

I’m going to do something a little different today.

There is this writer named Bart King, whose job is almost as much fun as mine. He turns out books with titles like “Big Book of Gross Stuff” and “Pocket Guide to Mischief.”

His latest one, called “Cute! A Guide to All Things Adorable,” has just been published, and I enjoyed it very much. Bart offers clever insight into what makes things seem cute, and why.

My readers are interested in cute stuff, so I sent Bart six photos that have appeared here. I asked him to apply his own criteria and grade them on cuteness, which he was nice enough to do.

Bart says the LEAST cute one is the photo at the top, adding, “I find nothing cute about a group of immature pandas awaiting autopsies.”

WARNING: Contents may be too cute for some viewers

Photo

Blog Guy, I guess this is a tough time for you. I mean, it’s summer and people are doing other things, so your blog traffic must have dropped.

Yeah, it always plummets during the summer months.

Is there anything you can do to attract readers? You know, any little tricks?

Well, normally when it gets really bad I pay a chimpanzee to feed milk to a tiger cub. Then I get photos that are adorable beyond comprehension, and run them in my blog.

Cutest bear on earth visits my blog

Photo

Blog Guy, have you ever done anything as a blogger that you’re really ashamed of?

Nothing that anybody can prove.

Really? Nothing?

Okay, okay, I guess you’ve heard I hired Medo the Bear Cub to do cute stuff on my blog today. I mean, we’re heading into the summer lull and I need the traffic.

Those cute ears will make a great trophy!

Photo

SPAIN/

What’s up, Blog Guy? You look concerned about something.

I am. I just saw these photos of two panda cubs born in Spain.

SPAIN/They’re adorable! What’s wrong with that?

Did you miss the part where I said they are in SPAIN, the place where poor creatures are slowly tortured to death before slobbering, bloodthirsty crowds?

Besides bullfighting, this is the home of the running of the bulls, the fiery “purification of the horses” and similar traditions too numerous to mention.

Cutest animals of 2010, O come let us adore them…

Photo

sweet animals top combo 490

Regular readers know this blog normally overflows with irony, sarcasm and the absurd, and is no place for sloppy sentiment.

Except where animals are concerned. Several times a year, I feature animal photos that I hope will bring a smile and make readers happy to be alive.

The little bear who was too cute to be real

Photo

Okay zoo staffers, I’m sick to death of all the other zoos in the world getting famous from really adorable animal babies. Polar bears and elephants and such-like. And don’t even get me STARTED on the pandas!

RUSSIA/All we ever come up with are butt-ugly animals who make the school children cry and run away in horror.

All the cute you need….

Photo

Blog Guy, I’ve had a very draining week, and I need something to cheer me up.

I hearĀ  you. I’ve had kind of an emotional roller coaster ride myself this week.

Cutest photos of the year, so far…

Photo

COLOMBIA/

Blog Guy, what’s the most shockingly shameless thing you’ve ever done to attract reader traffic to your blog?

COLOMBIA/Um, I’m guessing it might be posting pictures of a cat breastfeeding an injured squirrel while her kitten snuggles with it, and the little kitten and the squirrel hugging each other, and the squirrel eating out of the cat dish….

And Finally: Cute animals from you-know-where

Photo

Okay class, where does every cute animal on earth come from?

That’s right, Germany! And Chad Ruble, who apparently gets a commission on every German zoo denizen he uses online, has a great elephant baby today.

He also has real estate news, whether you’re looking for a quaint town or a piece of the moon.

Hey, look at that cute breadhead!

Photo

Blog Guy, I heard the newest fashion fad is wearing bread on your head. Is that true?

Absolutely! At Milan Fashion Week, “head bread” was the toast of the show.