Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Sorry, you’re not my type…

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Hey Blog Guy, it’s me!

Who?

Me! The guy who talks to you in italics so you can carry on pretend conversations in your blog everyday.

You really EXIST? I always thought those conversations were just voices in my head.

I can’t believe you don’t even recognize me. I’ve been working for you for years, playing the dumb guy, acting the straight man in the comedy team while you got all the laughs, being annoyed by your misinformation and puns, and now that your blog is ending in a couple of weeks, you want nothing to do with me?

Jeez, what suddenly made you so bold?

Bold? Really? Typeface humor? Not that you care, but italic type was first used in 1501.

Lose weight the Christmas Party way!

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It’s time for more of our etiquette tips aimed at people who were raised by warthogs in the wild.

Our latest advice is on diet etiquette for the holidays. You know, getting through parties and dinners while keeping both your diet and your friendships intact.

Look, up in the sky, Joe!

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“Jeez, Joe, what are you doing with those aviator shades? You think you’re Tom Cruise, or what? Take those things off!”

“Put a sock in it, Mr. President. I look SO cool in these babies!”

“Good Lord, Joe. Look, I’m covering my face with a hanky, so folks can’t see me laughing!”

Eugene, please have a seat…

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Say, Blog Guy, I’ve been wondering about that guy who’s sort of a living legend in your blog. You know who I mean.

Of course. You’re talking about none other than Eugene “Toilethead” Johnson.

For dummies who read this blog…

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Blog Guy, you run a fairly low-tech operation, right? I mean, there’s nothing complicated about doing a humor blog.

You couldn’t be more wrong. We do consumer testing, focus groups, FDA monitoring, all that stuff.

Folks, we may be in for a Trumpy landing

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Blog Guy, we know you were pretty upset about Donald Trump not running for president, clearly a huge loss of humor potential for your blog. Are you getting over it?

I don’t have to. My staff researcher found a loophole on page 466 of the book “The Bloggers’ Code.”

Big trouble when the chips are down?

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Oh Dear Lord, tell me this isn’t happening!

I just wanted to watch some tennis, so I called the boss on our busiest day of the year and said I was sick with projectile vomiting, impacted wisdom teeth, temporary insanity and a fever of 106…

Then I got to my seat, and who’s right in front of me? The fricking PRIME MINISTER!

Cutest bear on earth visits my blog

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Blog Guy, have you ever done anything as a blogger that you’re really ashamed of?

Nothing that anybody can prove.

Really? Nothing?

Okay, okay, I guess you’ve heard I hired Medo the Bear Cub to do cute stuff on my blog today. I mean, we’re heading into the summer lull and I need the traffic.

I’ve decided not to be President Trump…

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Blog Guy, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve been sobbing.

Yeah, I have. I’m pretty broken up about Donald Trump not running for president.

But you weren’t going to vote for him, anyway.

Yes, but I figured my blog was practically written in advance through 2012. It would have been so easy. I’ll never find anybody like that again.

Falling for a very wacky sport

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Blog Guy, you used to do a better job of covering stupid sports, which is why many of us come here. Do you have anything for us?

You bet. I’ve mentioned in the past my interest in Wacky Physical Humor, and I’ve been watching the women’s competition in Moscow.