Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

The worst fashions? Manure couture…

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Blog Guy, I mainly come here for your coverage of really bad fashion. You do show us ALL the worst creations, right?

Of course I do. Except the stuff I need to protect my readers from, of course. But everything else gets…

Wait a second, Blog Guy. Nobody asked you to protect us.

We can take it, no matter how bad it is. We DEMAND to see the worst runway designs this year, and we want to see them now!

But I don’t think…

Don’t make me go to your boss, Blog Guy.

Okay, you asked for it.

Up at the top we have Hulga, sporting a bighorn sheep hairstyle, made possible by 4,260 rubber bands. She hasn’t blinked in a week.

So, you guys here on that Groupon deal?

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Blog Guy, wake up! Looks like you fell asleep at your computer.

Oh, yeah, thanks. I was going through the so-called “family photos” of finance ministers from the APEC Summit in Hawaii, and I keep falling asleep.

Can’t you get somebody else to do that?

Who? Who on earth is EVER going to look at these pictures, and yet they are a staple of every single summit. There are so many people, we don’t even bother to name them.

Where in the world is Paris Hilton?

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Blog Guy, I’m worried sick! It’s been four days since we left Paris Hilton promoting her shoes in Istanbul, and we’ve heard nothing from her. I’m going to start checking the hospitals.

I’m sorry, I should have told your earlier. She’s fine, she’s just in India now, promoting her new line of handbags and accessories. Here she is, above, at a news conference.

Then, with flames licking at her heels…

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Okay, Lamar, I put you in charge of designing our whole new line of women’s shoes, so show us what you came up with.

Here you go, Boss, behold the new Feet of Fire collection.

It’s everything the young professional woman needs. These flaming tail fins send the message, “Watch out, world, my feet are on fire and I’m stopping for nobody!”

Paris, couldn’t ya just wear gloves?

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Johnson, get in my office! You call yourself a news photographer?

What did I do this time, Boss?

I sent you to cover that Paris Hilton event where she’s pushing her line of shoes, but I told you NOT to make it look like free publicity. You know, it has to seem newsworthy.

After all, she is one of the 10 most hated people in America, AND she’s just trying to sell shoes.

If Lego made shoes for women…

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Lamar, you said you had a hot new fashion design to show me. I’m skeptical after that nutty lingerie thing a few days ago, but I’m listening.

Here it is, boss, behold the future!

This is just a pile of crap, Lamar. Plastic lumps and rubber bands and stuff.

To the untrained eye, sure. But it’s actually a flexible modular shoe design which allows a woman to make 256 different footwear combinations!

Sorry, we’re all tapped out…

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I love it when real news stories are goofier than anything I could make up. It makes my job so much easier.

There is a United Nations ban on the sale of luxury goods to North Korea, see, and we’ve learned that Italy has foiled an attempt to violate that ban.

Baby, you said a mouthful!

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Blog Guy, can you please settle a bet with my nephew’s archery instructor?

Okay, these wagers with members of unlikely professions are getting out of hand. What are you betting on this time? Something really stupid, I imagine.

Hey, you missed a spot by the Porsche!

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AUTOSHOW/PREMIUM

Okay people, as you know, our exhibit at the Shanghai Auto Show is all about glamor and luxury. Class, sumptuousness and style. Lamar, you were in charge of our display, let’s see what you’ve come up with.

The cars look great, gorgeous models in sexy dresses and shoes, and… Um, Lamar?

Waldo shows his true stripes…

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GEORGIA/

Okay publishing staff, we’re here to start promoting the latest volumes in our wildly popular “Where’s Waldo?” series of children’s books.

waldo combo 160Cripes, Boss, MORE Waldo books? Haven’t we run that into the ground? It’s getting easier and easier for kids to spot that guy in a red and white striped shirt!