Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Farewell to the Gaddafi Goof-O-Rama
Blog Guy, have you been crying? What’s the matter?
Oh, you know, I just hate to see Muammar Gaddafi go.
Are you nuts? He was a brutal dictator, overthrown by his own people!
Sure, but he was a madcap, zany goofball, too. He was in a class all by himself, and my blog was richer for him.
So it’s all about you and your blog and your goofy stuff, Blog Guy? Everything in the world?
Sure, now that you mention it. All I had to do was search our photo file for his name, and there he was. Meeting a foreign leader next to his ornate Kleenex box…
Do we get a snack on this flight, or what?
Quick quiz: You realize your job may sort of suck if you…
a) find yourself on a flight from Malta to Tripoli
b) notice the card by your seat describes you only as the “Senior Leader-in-Transit”
c) are trying to read your PDA with your sunglasses on
d) are trying to study a briefing book and can’t recall if your eyes are open or shut
e) don’t even care when the beverage cart goes by
Yep, seems like it would be one of the more popular posts given the gravity of the mistake lol. I couldn’t resist laughing out loud when I read that error correction.
I’ve ALWAYS wanted whatever this is!
Blog Guy, anything new for us from Williams-Sonoma? I’m starting my Christmas shopping early this year.
You know, I think I pick on them too much. I mean, those folks are just trying to make a living with their $2,399.95 espresso machine, to choose an item at random from the new catalog.
There are plenty of other stores that sell stuff we don’t need. I just got the new Hammacher Schlemmer catalog in the mail.
Hammacher Schlemmer? What does that mean?
I believe it’s a German phrase that roughly translates to “WTF is THIS?” I get the giggles just thumbing through this thing.
What kind of stuff do they have? I’m always on the lookout for useless crap.
Strip mine the earth for materials and shove it back in the landfills. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Taking a stand for a place to sit?
Blog Guy, nobody has better connections to the 2012 political campaigns than you do. I’ve heard that President Obama has chosen his official campaign slogan for the presidential race.
I presume it’s “Yes we can,” since that worked so well for him in 2008?
No, I understand his campaign is going a different direction this time around.
Don’t say where you got it, but the Reelect Obama slogan will be, “Please Seat Yourself.”
Huh? “Please Seat Yourself?” What does that even mean?
Whew! Thanks, Malteser…. I was afraid it was some kind of mind-control memory eraser or something.
Suddenly, it’s GREAT to be Ronald!
Blog Guy, awhile back you showed us lots of spam you were getting by mistake. It was meant for a guy named RONALD Basler. He seemed to be having a pretty rough time, what with debt, depression, a leaky roof… Have you checked on him lately?
It’s kind of you to ask. I’m still getting tons of this guy’s spam, but his fortunes seem to have improved.
What makes you say that?
Check out his latest spam, above. It looks like Ron’s got a sweet gig in the lucrative postcard-sending field.
Plus, folks are offering him good deals on cars and insurance, and he might be planning a getaway to Napa.
He seems to be treating himself to nice restaurant meals, even the Outback Steakhouse.
Well geez if there is gonna be MST3K reruns and pics of Kate let’s all head to the kitchen and peel some potatos!
Well, time to slap the old vodka bottle!
Blog Guy, I know you’re an expert on other cultures, and I have a question.
I just heard an Eastern European expression, “slapping the old vodka bottle.” Jeez, I’m really hoping that’s not a euphemism for…
No, it’s not. Relax. In some countries, they open a bottle of vodka by slapping the bottom until the cork comes out.
The cork? But these days, vodka bottles have screw-tops!
Well, then I guess they could be at it for quite some time. That’s why they normally bring along a plate of sausages, to keep their energy level up.
So slapping the bottom of a bottle is a totally pointless tradition in the 21st century? It accomplishes absolutely nothing?
Mr. Spam Filter might be getting tired of spam and is longing for Romanian or Polish sausages instead.
Pushing shakes for a sheikh?
OMG, Blog Guy! A few days ago, in an item about Paris Hilton helping open a shopping mall in Poland, you said, “Coming soon, Kim Kardashian appears at a milkshake bar opening in Dubai,” and here she is!
Who would have thought you were serious about that?
Come on, it wasn’t hard to predict. I mean, the woman was married less than two months ago, she is thought to be the highest-paid reality star on television, so why wouldn’t she go to Dubai to promote a milkshake bar? It just makes sense.
But if she craves attention so badly, why doesn’t she launch a fragrance, like Jennifer Aniston and Katy Perry and everybody else did?
Get with the program. Kim already launched a fragrance, four months ago.
I missed that. What about Paris Hilton, then? Can we expect a fragrance from her?
Maybe Kim Kardashian wants to be part of the Escape Club.
New iPhone? No Siri, Bob!
Blog Guy, I read your review of the new iPhone 4S the day it was released, and found it ridiculous. You bill yourself as one of the top technology bloggers in your zip code, and yet you didn’t even mention Siri, the phone’s incredible voice recognition feature, which answers questions and obeys commands.
I don’t think you even HAVE a 4S yet!
That’s where you’re wrong. I was just carrying on a conversation with Siri, and I’ll paste it into my blog to prove it.
* * * * * * * * * *
Siri, will it rain in Honduras today?
Without a doubt.
Wait one minute there! I thought that using Vogon poetry was the ONLY way to ask questions like that! After all, if you can read an entire book of verse devoted entirely to lint, the answer becomes a trivial thing!
Playing Pachelbel’s Cannon at my funeral?
Blog Guy, not to bring up a depressing topic, but have you made plans for what will be done with your body when you die?
I’m arranging that now, thanks to several readers who sent me info about a company called Holy Smoke. They put your cremated ashes into shotgun shells or rifle cartridges, so your friends can shoot you off. Even in death, you can be helping to kill some poor creature.
Their Website says, “We offer a way to honor your deceased loved one by giving or sharing with him or her one more round of clay targets, one last bird hunt, or one last stalk hunt.”
Okay, you’re just making that crap up, Blog Guy.
No, I’m not. Whether you were a big shot or your life was just a flash in the pan, you can go out this way…
I see, now you’re just doing it for the cheap puns. I mean, this is one very goofy plan!
AllThatJazz, it’s because standing in fromt of salmon hued screen is soooo offputting!
Oh, so this is a SERIOUS bike lane!
Okay, listen up, troops! I’ve got your duty assignments for the anti-Gaddafi army!
Smith, you’re riding in a tank. Jones, you’re a bombardier. Williams, you fire rocket-propelled grenades and blow up big stuff all day long. Johnson, you’re on Bike Patrol. Williams, you’re…
What is it, Johnson?
Well, you know, I mean it doesn’t sound very cool to just ride a bike.
Really, Johnson? But it’s a ten-speed two-wheeler, very shiny, and you get to shoot your AK-47 from the handlebars.
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Resident Oddly Enough blog Expert
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Hah..glad you like that! Shra, you should have said it’s fan-tase-tic. Would be more in character.