Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

You only shot pictures of WHAT?

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Blog Guy, how’s Oktoberfest shaping up this year, if you take my meaning? You know, those Bavarian women tend to wear some pretty risqué outfits over there, huh?

Boy, I’ll say. For your convenience, our photo people have put together this combo shot, showing cleavage of the visitors wearing traditional Dirndls.

They did it for my convenience? But you’ve put those beige rectangles over every one of them!

Well, sure, I have to protect my readers, but I think you probably get the idea.

When animals know all our secrets…

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Blog Guy, my tax guy’s taxidermist told me something really creepy. He has close ties to the animal kingdom.

You mean from stuffing and mounting them?

Yeah. And he said animals are spying on humans, building up huge dossiers. He says ducks are the worst.

Paris, couldn’t ya just wear gloves?

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Johnson, get in my office! You call yourself a news photographer?

What did I do this time, Boss?

I sent you to cover that Paris Hilton event where she’s pushing her line of shoes, but I told you NOT to make it look like free publicity. You know, it has to seem newsworthy.

After all, she is one of the 10 most hated people in America, AND she’s just trying to sell shoes.

Our ten-second in-flight movie will be…

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Blog Guy, recently you wrote about a bunch of ambitious homemade inventions around the world. A submarine, a helicopter, stuff like that. Do those things actually work?

You bet they do. Here is that farmer in China testing his homemade flying device yesterday. It’s powered by eight motorcycle engines.

Get my cell phone, Hon, it’s in the toilet…

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Blog Guy, like most of your readers, I come here for news about toilets, which you cover better than anybody else. I was wondering, are women’s bathroom habits any different from men’s, apart from the obvious?

They may be, judging from a new survey of women.  Among other things, the survey asked about items that women accidentally drop in the toilet. Money, jewelry, medicine, toothbrushes…

Is that Pig Latin, Mr. President?

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Blog Guy, I was surprised to see you missed “Talk Like a Pirate Day” this week. It was fun!

Oh please. All that “ahoy” and “matey” stuff? Sorry, I waited for today instead, when we talk like presidential pirates.

Looks like that one passed the test!

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Sarge, look sharp. I’ve got a job for you.

Sure thing, Captain, Sir!

We’ve captured all these big weapons from the Gaddafi loyalists, and we need to test ‘em.

Can you take care of that? And start with that big anti-aircraft gun over there!

Fashion models, name your poison…

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Here we go again, Lamar. We’ve got a major fashion show coming up, and the cost of paying good models would bankrupt us. Have you found a source for bargain-priced chicks, like you usually do?

I sure have, boss. I think you’ll be very happy.

So what’s wrong with this batch, Lamar? Are they zombies, genetic mutations, snake handlers, extremely moody….

Ramen Museum? My cup runneth over!

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Okay, kids, I got the tickets for our big vacation trip today, and you’re gonna love it!

Yay for Daddy! You’re the bestest! Where are we going? Disney World, Universal, Dollywood?

I left my part in San Francisco?

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Blog Guy, I always come to you for my news about the movie industry. What’s my favorite actress, Halle Berry, up to these days?

She’s shooting a movie on location in Glasgow, Scotland.

Ah, so I guess this is another Glasgow movie that’s SUPPOSED to be Philadelphia, like that Brad Pitt zombie movie you wrote about recently?