Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

You’re lacking in your hacking!

Photo

Lamar, get in my office!

What’s up, Boss?

Look, you’ve had enough time! I told you if you want to make it in journalism, you need to hack into some voice messages, and I want to see what you’ve got. We’re on deadline!

I think you’ll be pretty happy, Boss. Look at this one. “It’s me. Pick up tuna fish and vodka on the way home.”

That’s not very much to go with, Lamar.

Oh, I’ve got more, Boss. “This is Mom, why don’t you ever call?”

I guess that’s a little better. What else?

“I know you’re there, I just saw your schnauzer take a dump in my driveway!”

Earn big bucks without knowing anything!

Photo

I swear, I don’t know why I keep getting suckered by these lame “list” stories. For instance, Ten Jobs that Don’t Require a Degree.

Please, let me save you the trouble of reading it. Basically, these are 10 jobs that may not require a college degree, but to get them you have to take really crappy entry-level jobs and work your way up, if you live long enough.

Giving us the creeps?

Photo

Blog Guy, last week you wrote about an opinion poll naming Casey Anthony the “most hated person in America.”

You said of the people who had heard of her, 94 percent didn’t like her. But you also said that 57 percent found her creepy. Was that a different poll?

Eat it off the stick, Rick!

Photo

Blog Guy, when Michele Bachmann came out ahead in that Iowa straw poll thing you did a pithy analysis attributing the success to eating a corn dog in public. So where does that leave the newest candidate, Texas Governor Rick Perry, who didn’t compete in the Iowa event? Is he home free?

Hardly. He had to race to Iowa yesterday for some serious catch-up.

Heh, heh, heh. You mean Ketchup?

Stop punning with my punditry. The fact remains, no candidate has ever not won the nomination without not eating an Iowa State Fair corn dog.

Honey, I’m on my way!

Photo

Blog Guy, you know that place in Siberia you say is the goofiest place on earth? I think you call it Wackytown, and you organize tours there.

Sure. Krasnoyarsk. There’s no other place like it. You should come with us. What are you looking for?

Von Trapped with no way out?

Photo

What’s wrong, Blog Guy? You look very frightened and upset.

I am. A neighbor told me about an event involving Nazis and dog bites and bee stings and…and…maybe yodeling.

That sounds vicious. What is this thing?

You know that 1965 Julie Andrews movie, “The Sound of Music,” about a woman who works for a naval officer in a land-locked country as the governess for his hundreds of obnoxious children?

Michele Bachmann, the wurst winner ever?

Photo

“I am Ioway born and bred, and on Ioway corn I’m fed…” **

Hey Blog Guy, so Michele Bachmann won that Iowa thing. What do you think swung it her way?

Cheese it! It’s Wonder Woman!

Photo

Blog Guy, you have a lot of inside info on politics and I’m hoping you can clear something up for me. I’ve heard that Sarah Palin may actually be Wonder Woman.

Whoa! You may be on to something there, Ace.

It all fits! Palin rides a motorcycle, just like the real Wonder Woman, and she always travels with her faithful calf, Shep, and her wise-cracking sidekick, Todd….

Politicians and their pork…

Photo

Blog Guy, can you settle a bet I have with my bartender’s pedicurist?

More bets between random unlikely professions, huh? What is it this time?

That Republican presidential candidate, Mitt Romney. Has he ever seen a porkchop?

You know, I don’t think so.  In these photos from the Iowa State Fair he’s eating a grilled porkchop on a stick, and it looks for all the world like he’s about one bite away from chewing the napkin.

The folks you love to hate?

Photo

Blog Guy, you haven’t written about any new signs of that onrushing Apocalypse recently. Is it safe to come out of the panic room?

No, you just stay put in there. An actual opinion poll informs us that Casey Anthony is now “the most hated person in America.”