Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Is everybody happy? Louder!

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Blog Guy, I know you keep up with the various charities of the power elite. Somebody told me about a youth program Secretary of State Hillary Clinton supports, and I don’t think they got it quite right.

I imagine you’re talking about Sullen Young Ballplayers.

Yeah, that was the name of it alright. Tell me about it.

Not much to tell. Once a week her staff brings her a bunch of unhappy young people who would rather be somewhere else, and forces them to meet with her.

Clinton tries to cheer them up by telling rousing baseball anecdotes. It never works.

And all these kids are unhappy?

Yeah, you know, sullen, morose, irritable, petulant, resentful, what have you.

Blog Guy, it scares me to ask where you might be going with this, but I have to. Why are they unhappy?

You snooze, you lose? Not this time…

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Blog Guy, what would you say is your best sport, personally? Rock climbing, Ironman? Fight Club?

I’d have to say extreme napping.

Napping. You mean like just closing your eyes and sleeping?

It’s so much more than that. Oh, any idiot can just flop into bed at noon and call it a nap, but the competitors are always finding new places, mapping new napping.

What’s in your artisanal arsenel?

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Blog Guy, I’m confused. Suddenly I’m seeing the words “artisan” and “artisanal” attached to all kinds of products. Cheeses, chocolates, liquors, soaps… What does it all mean?

That’s easy. It means they can get by with charging a lot more money for that stuff.

Are you ready, athletes? Blow and go!

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Blog Guy, you never seem to write much about the sport I participate in, the biathlon.

Sorry, I’ll do that right now. What instrument do you play?

Instrument? What are you talking about?

Sigh. The classic biathlon is a two-part sport. You play a piece on a brass instrument, then you swim 103 miles from Cuba to Florida.

Cashing in on My Good Name?

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Blog Guy, I know you’re busy designing the next generation Basler BT-70 aircraft, but I may want to buy a plane before you have a chance to test your new model.

Test it? What do you mean by that?

Never mind. Anyway, the current Basler BT-67 seems very cool and just what I need, but I saw the list of options and I have a few questions.

Oh, the humanity!

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Blog Guy, can you settle a bet I have with my investment manager’s astrologer?

Wait. Doesn’t it bother you that your investment manager HAS an astrologer?

So it’s like doing them a favor, huh?

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Blog Guy, I like it when you find interesting traditions practiced by other cultures, like for instance that “love market” that you wrote about last year.

Well, I see here in the Singapore Straits Times that the Chinese have entered the seventh month of the Lunar calendar, known as the Hungry Ghost month…

Decorating with a brain and a crane…

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Blog Guy, several months ago you analyzed the Libyan conflict by comparing the furniture styles of the Gaddafi supporters and the rebels. I believe you called it “Divan intervention in Libya?” What else can we learn by looking at protesters and their furniture?

Good question. Check these demonstrators in Israel in the top photo. They’ve done a fine job of turning their protest site into a cozy living room.

Sometimes the blog just writes itself…

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Okay, these numbers just make no sense to me. The latest New York Times/CBS News Poll shows that 82 percent of Americans now disapprove of the way Congress is handling its job.

So wait. You’re telling me that 18 percent of Americans DO approve of how they’re doing? Seriously?

Who’s more fun than drunk people?

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Blog Guy, I’m planning a vacation and I’m looking for ideas. Generally I like to go where I can see a lot of dumbasses.

Really? I guess that’s one way to go. I would highly recommend Ukraine, then.