Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Crawling into bed with Hitler?

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What’s up, Blog Guy? You look disgusted.

I am. Regular readers of this blog know I have little patience with the idea of buying things that belonged to evil people, just to own a bit of history.

To me, a dumbass is a dumbass, whether we’re talking about Lee Harvey Oswald’s coffin or Bernard Madoff’s underwear, both of which have been auctioned in the past year.

So has another dumbass hit the auction circuit?

Yeah, the biggest. Adolf Hitler’s personalized bed linen, complete with swastikas and the crazy dictator’s initials, are expected to fetch around $5,000, maybe more, at a sale in Britain.

I mean, really? Hitler’s fricking sheets? You know what people do on sheets, and you still want Adolf Hitler’s bed linens? By comparison, bidding on Madoff’s underpants sounds almost normal.

The best of another goofy month

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November was another month full of news you can use from this blog.

Traffic stats for the 10 most popular items show that readers were especially eager to learn what makes the perfect gift, how to avoid as many of those Kardashians as possible, and what superstars miss most when they’re filming away from home.

They also appreciated my new insights into goofy history, with true stuff like what Abe Lincoln did on the South Lawn, and how King James I amused himself.

Political paraffin-alia?

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Blog Guy, this race for the Republican presidential nomination is getting pretty wild. First one candidate surges ahead, then another, then another. Now they’re saying former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich is picking up support.

I think that’s probably true.

You really do? Is that based on your reading of the polls?

No, it’s based on pictures I just saw of new statues of Newt and his wife, at a wax museum.

A post-Thanksgiving image booster

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Blog Guy, I’m afraid I really pigged out yesterday at Thanksgiving, but I understand a few extra pounds are considered attractive these days.

Can you please find recent photos of some of the beautiful people who have let themselves go, so your readers can feel better about themselves after Turkey Day?

A goofy Thanksgiving to all!

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Happy Thanksgiving, Blog Guy!

Thanks, and the same to you and to all my readers.

So what are you thankful for This Thanksgiving?

Me? I’m feeling very blessed to be surrounded by my dear family and great friends.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course you have to say that, but specifically, what are you thankful for right now, this minute?

Want something that’s bad for you, Mr. President?

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Hi there, waitress, we’re the Corkery family, and we’ll be having your family-style breakfast special, where the whole family eats for for $22.95. I’ll have the…

Excuse me, Mr. Obama, I know who you are. You’re gonna have to go ahead and pay for your own breakfast…

The King’s playin’ with his crotch again

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Blog Guy, you seem to read a lot of history. I guess that’s to take your mind off the goofy stuff you see every day?

Are you kidding? History books are where I GET my goofiest stuff.  I find myself laughing out loud as I picture things I read. In his biography of William Shakespeare, author Bill Bryson tells us that King James I “was graceless in motion, with a strange lurching gait, and had a disconcerting habit, indulged more or less constantly, of playing with his codpiece.”

We need rhymers, not climbers!

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Blog Guy, I know you’ve been following Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain and his campaign, complete with that Libya video meltdown and the “Cain train,” but what do you think about his latest comment?

You mean where he said, “We need a leader, not a reader.”

Yep.

Well, it is jolting to hear a candidate say something like that, but I know he loves those rhyming phrases. It’s sort of his trademark. Here are some examples from my own wide-ranging Cain interview, conducted in my imagination…

Which job would you choose?

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Blog Guy, I need some of your famous career advice. I have a dead-end job selling lunch meat door-to-door, and I’m looking for something different.

Hmmmm. Are you willing to relocate overseas? Do you enjoy working outdoors and getting a little exercise on the job?

Hire me! I can be a better vetter!

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Hey Blog Guy, I don’t get out very much. Can you explain what these guys in this picture are doing?

Yes, the caption says they’re vetting dancers before the opening of an Erotica show.