Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Courting the goat vote…

Photo
-

Blog Guy, with the 2012 presidential campaign now underway, I’m surprised nobody is covering the goat angle.

Yeah, many political writers handle that group with kid gloves, but not me, not with all of the candidates actively courting the goat vote.

Are goats interested in the issues?

Are they! You go to any candidate’s events in New Hampshire these days, and you’ll find the goats bleating about something or other.

Four years ago they went for Obama, but this time around they’re listening to the Republican candidates and ruminating.

Attention! Everything has been recalled!

Photo
-

Blog Guy, I guess you’ve been reading about the huge recall of cantaloupes because of that deadly listeria outbreak?

Yes, but recalls in general are coming too fast to count. In the past month, we’ve had stories about recalls of lettuce, candy, ice cream, pine nuts, brewers yeast tablets, prawns, soy burgers, kale chips, spinach, organic eggs, frozen tuna

The Runway’s Got Talent!

Photo
-

It’s the same old story, Lamar. We’ve got a major fashion show today, but we can’t afford to pay professional models. You always manage to come through with models on the cheap. Any luck?

Don’t worry, Boss, I got us a good group today, and they’re free.

FREE? Huzzah! But how did you work that?

Oh. Well, they’re under the impression we’re having a reality TV talent show, so they each get to do a little “act” on the runway.

The strain on Cain is changing his campaign?

Photo
-

In case some of you missed it because of the freak snowstorm, I’m going to mention an unusual political story from Saturday. It involves Herman Cain, one of the front-runners for the Republican Party’s presidential nomination.

According to the Associated Press, Cain said he will “dial back” his campaign and media appearances in order to avoid missteps.

This train is bound for glory, this train

Photo
-

Whoa! Did you see that, Clancy? Looked like Pope Benedict on that train that just went by!

Nah, it couldn’t have been, Lamar.That’s an express and the Pope takes the local.

Best of the month: my own Oktoberfest?

Photo
-

It’s time once again for my monthly blog traffic stats, and I see that October was kind of a bittersweet time.

Two of my 10 most popular items were farewells, one to Sarah Palin who isn’t running, and one to Muammar Gaddafi, who isn’t doing anything.

When the chips are down, in Wackytown

Photo
-

Say, Blog Guy, I keep reading about those group tours you organize to that place you call Wackytown, the goofiest place on earth.

Right, that’s Krasnoyarsk, in Siberia. Think you’d like to join us on a trip? We’ve got a gambling junket coming up. Why waste your time in Las Vegas when you can go to a Wackytown casino?

Bag? What bag, Baby?

Photo
-

Hi Michelle, Sweetie, it’s me! I’m calling on my new iPhone, from Los Angeles. Where are you?

Oh, hey, Barack, you caught me just finishing a speech at a grocery here in Chicago.

It’s a black day for candy lovers…

Photo
-

Okay, take that black stuff out of your mouth, put it on the floor, and back away.

That’s just me helping the government warn folks about the danger of eating too much licorice.

Lose weight the Christmas Party way!

Photo
-

It’s time for more of our etiquette tips aimed at people who were raised by warthogs in the wild.

Our latest advice is on diet etiquette for the holidays. You know, getting through parties and dinners while keeping both your diet and your friendships intact.