Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Farewell to the Gaddafi Goof-O-Rama

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Blog Guy, have you been crying? What’s the matter?

Oh, you know, I just hate to see Muammar Gaddafi go.

Are you nuts? He was a brutal dictator, overthrown by his own people!

Sure, but he was a madcap, zany goofball, too. He was in a class all by himself, and my blog was richer for him.

So it’s all about you and your blog and your goofy stuff, Blog Guy? Everything in the world?

Sure, now that you mention it. All I had to do was search our photo file for his name, and there he was. Meeting a foreign leader next to his ornate Kleenex box

Or driving around with Hugo Chavez, or steering his “Mr. Toad” Club Car, or making an origami swan at the United Nations…

Do we get a snack on this flight, or what?

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Quick quiz: You realize your job may sort of suck if you…

a) find yourself on a flight from Malta to Tripoli

b) notice the card by your seat describes you only as the “Senior Leader-in-Transit”

c) are trying to read your PDA with your sunglasses on

d) are trying to study a briefing book and can’t recall if your eyes are open or shut

I’ve ALWAYS wanted whatever this is!

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Blog Guy, anything new for us from Williams-Sonoma? I’m starting my Christmas shopping early this year.

You know, I think I pick on them too much. I mean, those folks are just trying to make a living with their $2,399.95 espresso machine, to choose an item at random from the new catalog.

Taking a stand for a place to sit?

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Blog Guy, nobody has better connections to the 2012 political campaigns than you do. I’ve heard that President Obama has chosen his official campaign slogan for the presidential race.

I presume it’s “Yes we can,” since that worked so well for him in 2008?

Suddenly, it’s GREAT to be Ronald!

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Blog Guy, awhile back you showed us lots of spam you were getting by mistake. It was meant for a guy named RONALD Basler. He seemed to be having a pretty rough time, what with debt, depression, a leaky roof… Have you checked on him lately?

It’s kind of you to ask. I’m still getting tons of this guy’s spam, but his fortunes seem to have improved.

Well, time to slap the old vodka bottle!

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Blog Guy, I know you’re an expert on other cultures, and I have a question.

I just heard an Eastern European expression, “slapping the old vodka bottle.” Jeez, I’m really hoping that’s not a euphemism for…

Pushing shakes for a sheikh?

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OMG, Blog Guy! A few days ago, in an item about Paris Hilton helping open a shopping mall in Poland, you said, “Coming soon, Kim Kardashian appears at a milkshake bar opening in Dubai,” and here she is!

Who would have thought you were serious about that?

Come on, it wasn’t hard to predict. I mean, the woman was married less than two months ago, she is thought to be the highest-paid reality star on television, so why wouldn’t she go to Dubai to promote a milkshake bar? It just makes sense.

New iPhone? No Siri, Bob!

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Blog Guy, I read your review of the new iPhone 4S the day it was released, and found it ridiculous. You bill yourself as one of the top technology bloggers in your zip code, and yet you didn’t even mention Siri, the phone’s incredible voice recognition feature, which answers questions and obeys commands.

I don’t think you even HAVE a 4S yet!

That’s where you’re wrong. I was just carrying on a conversation with Siri, and I’ll paste it into my blog to prove it.

Playing Pachelbel’s Cannon at my funeral?

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Blog Guy, not to bring up a depressing topic, but have you made plans for what will be done with your body when you die?

I’m arranging that now, thanks to several readers who sent me info about a company called Holy Smoke. They put your cremated ashes into shotgun shells or rifle cartridges, so your friends can shoot you off. Even in death, you can be helping to kill some poor creature.

Oh, so this is a SERIOUS bike lane!

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Okay, listen up, troops! I’ve got your duty assignments for the anti-Gaddafi army!

Smith, you’re riding in a tank. Jones, you’re a bombardier. Williams, you fire rocket-propelled grenades and blow up big stuff all day long. Johnson, you’re on Bike Patrol. Williams, you’re…