Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

The strain on Cain is changing his campaign?

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In case some of you missed it because of the freak snowstorm, I’m going to mention an unusual political story from Saturday. It involves Herman Cain, one of the front-runners for the Republican Party’s presidential nomination.

According to the Associated Press, Cain said he will “dial back” his campaign and media appearances in order to avoid missteps.

For those of you who don’t speak slang, “dial back” means he’s going to reduce them. There have been a number of recent stories about Cain having to “clarify” his own comments on issues such as immigration, abortion and terrorism suspects.

According to the AP story, Cain blames a grueling campaign schedule for the problem.

Stir that succotash, will ya, Newt?

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Excuse me, I hate to complain and everything, but…

Yes, what is it, Governor Gingrich?

Well, I’m not a governor. I used to be the Speaker of the House of Representatives. I’m running for the Republican nomination, and I was wondering, how come I have to eat in the kitchen, standing up?

Oh, this is Iowa, Governor. Everybody eats in the kitchen.

Hang on just a minute, I can see that Rick Perry guy getting his picture taken with folks, and there’s Michele Bachmann signing autographs and what-not, and here I am standing next to some lady in an apron…

Taking a stand for a place to sit?

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Blog Guy, nobody has better connections to the 2012 political campaigns than you do. I’ve heard that President Obama has chosen his official campaign slogan for the presidential race.

I presume it’s “Yes we can,” since that worked so well for him in 2008?

Come back, Sarah, it’s not too late!

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Blog Guy, you look pretty upset. What’s wrong?

Are you kidding me? It’s the race for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination. All the potential fun is evaporating before my eyes!

What do you mean?

I still can’t believe it. Sarah Palin now says she’s not running!

Two days ago, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie opted not to run. Donald Trump flirted with a bid, then dropped out.

Stake Night on the Vampire Cruise?

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Blog Guy, I know you’re a travel expert, and I need some advice. I am a vampire. I would like to go someplace where I don’t feel, you know, different.

Maybe I can help. I just saw a story saying hundreds of vampire enthusiasts are planning a vacation cruise on the the Zuiderdam, tailored to their interests. It’s called “Vamps at Sea.” Maybe you should try it.

She’s the Darjeeling of the Tea Party?

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Blog Guy, I see Sarah Palin, the possible future former potential presidential candidate, spoke at a Tea Party gathering over the weekend. I’m not sure I get the whole Tea Party thing. Wasn’t the 1773 Boston Tea Party a protest against being taxed by people we didn’t elect, and don’t Americans now get to elect their lawmakers?

That’s generally true, although for example, I don’t get to elect them.

The duchess, the chimp and the corn dog

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This blog’s August statistics are in, and once again, patterns are starting to form which will allow me to do a better job of reaching my audience. It’s all in knowing how to read the results.

Of the 10 most popular items, two were about politicians eating corn dogs, three involved very cute animals and two more featured Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge.

Do you recognize this candidate?

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Blog Guy, I come to you for all my news about the 2012 presidential race.

Please explain this sentence from a Reuters story about a debate: “But Bachmann, Cain, Gingrich, former Senator Rick Santorum, Representative Thaddeus McCotter and former New Mexico Governor Gary Johnson all participated from sites across the country.”

What’s wrong with it?

Who the hell is Gary Johnson? Is he a candidate?

Ah. Good point. I don’t think so. I just Googled “Gary Johnson” and “corn dog” and didn’t get any matches.

Obama’s golden opportunity?

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Okay staff, we all know we’ve got a problem. The president isn’t as popular as he used to be. His numbers are down, and the Republicans are slinging mud. Anybody got an idea?

Uh, could he save a small child from a burning runaway freight train, Boss?

Hmmmm. Not bad, Lamar, but he’s done that twice already. I think he needs something different this time.

Abe! How’s life at your Gettysburg address?

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Blog Guy, is it just me, or am I seeing lots of photos of Abraham Lincoln in the news these days?

Yes, I’ve noticed it, too. Most recently with presidential candidate Michele Bachmann greeting a Lincoln lookalike at a Republican dinner in Iowa a couple of days ago.