Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Where in the world is Paris Hilton?
Blog Guy, I’m worried sick! It’s been four days since we left Paris Hilton promoting her shoes in Istanbul, and we’ve heard nothing from her. I’m going to start checking the hospitals.
I’m sorry, I should have told your earlier. She’s fine, she’s just in India now, promoting her new line of handbags and accessories. Here she is, above, at a news conference.
Whew! That’s quite a relief. What with her being one of the 10 most hated people in America, I fear for her safety.
I guess maybe she’s going overseas a lot these days so folks in other countries can learn to feel the same about her.
Does she seem okay to you? Did she do all her poses? The vacuous smile, the peace sign, the peering over her sunglasses?
She sure did.
Tired of rooting through your purse, girls?
Okay marketing staff, as you know our regular fashions aren’t selling very well, which is why we’ve started inventing NEW articles of clothing and creating a demand.
You will recall that Lamar designed two such items, the Rube Tube and the Skank Top, which were runaway bestsellers. Lamar, what have you got to follow that up with?
Boss, this is our new purse. It’s slim, it’s sleek….
It’s empty, Lamar! It’s just a wire frame that won’t hold anything.
Exactly, Boss! It’s called the Hold Nothin’.
I have a faint hint of cash, but mostly I barter for sausages. Which I deliver. Carrying those around on me would make me look like a tastier version of Lady Gaga.
Look chic when it’s a jungle out there!
Blog Guy, I’m a woman who likes to look her best at all times. I have an irrational fear of being caught out in the jungle, without my luggage, and no way to accessorize my outfit.
My psychiatrist said you might be able to do something.
Yes, help is available. Many women share this fear. You are not alone.
I strongly recommend a six-week jungle survival fashion course, called “Going Rogue, But Staying Vogue.”
When you graduate from this character-building exercise, you’ll be able to go into a dense jungle half-naked, and come out looking great.
You’ll make stunning hats from sticks and twigs, and you will learn to fashion a purse from a mud dauber nest of live wasps, as seen above.
Now you are thinking like those fashion designers, Spin… get outta that place!!!
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Resident Oddly Enough blog Expert
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@Nosmo, “But these Giant Panda cubs, napping peacefully in their nursery, have a far more important role to play.”
Dude I got chills.
I can’t read this blog until those pictures of Paris Hilton recieve the proper application of the MS Paint rectangles. Those photos are much more damaging than beer babe cleavage.