Jeez, I couldn’t make this news stuff up, even if they paid me a lot more than they do.
Those of us who make a modest living from the absurd, the ironic and the tasteless cannot sit back and watch other people run such things into the ground. I made the same point recently, when televangelist Pat Robertson hurtled totally off the absurdity scale in his comments about Haiti’s pact with the devil.
I tend to have to take a lot of crap from female readers who say that I use too many photos of attractive women and not enough of men.
Blog Guy, the presidents of those Latin American countries like Venezuela and Cuba, do they make much money? I mean, can you earn a good living doing that?
Well, drop a grenade down my pants, this one REALLY took me by surprise!
Blog Guy, my favorite actress is Marcia Gay Harden. Why isn’t she in more stuff?Because Marcia divides her time between acting and her real love, working as the captain of a luxury cruise ship.WHAT?We caught up with her this week in New York City, aboard the Carnival Dream, tooting the horn, dropping the anchor and stuff, charting a course for Louisville or someplace like that.Blog Guy, are you out of your fricking mind? She’s just there to promote a new cruise ship. That’s it.You know, that’s what I thought at first, too. But look at the caption. It has one of those NOT FOR SALE FOR MARKETING OR ADVERTISING CAMPAIGNS warnings on it.So, why would they bring in a famous actress and then not be able to use the pictures for anything? No, I’m sticking with my original guess, that she’s the captain.Blog Guy, do you always just “guess” at the so-called news you print here?No, not always. Sometimes I just make it up completely.
Okay gang, you all know the deal. We’ve actually persuaded Prince Charles to endorse our brand of coffee for a TV commercial!Yeah, he said it’s only Canada so nobody will see it anywhere important, and he can use a few extra bucks.It’s a real advertising coup, but we only get one take, so it has to be perfect the first time.Now, the prince is going to just be walking along doing prince stuff, and ask for a cup of our coffee. He’ll try it, and then give us a big smile of delight.Oh my God! This is our one take? This is supposed to make people buy this crap?Well, we’ve paid for it so we have to use it, but at least edit out that last few seconds where he drops to his knees and spews his lunch on the crowd.