Oddly Enough Blog

Come for the beaches, stay for the bloodbaths

June 23, 2010

MEXICO/

Jeez, I couldn’t make this news stuff up, even if they paid me a lot more than they do.

They’re even more tasteless than I am!

March 12, 2010

Those of us who make a modest living from the absurd, the ironic and the tasteless cannot sit back and watch other people run such things into the ground. I made the same point recently, when televangelist Pat Robertson hurtled totally off the absurdity scale in his comments about Haiti’s pact with the devil.

Up close and personal? Not so much…

January 10, 2010

AUTOSHOW-INDIA/

Memo to Photo Editor: I’ve come up with a great scheme to cut down on costs associated with shooting big events like for example auto shows.

Some mushy peas in my handbag, please!

December 23, 2009

queen combo 490

Okay staff, you’re aware of our public relations challenge.

We want to soften Queen Elizabeth’s image as a mega-rich monarch with lots of castles and jewels, and make her appear to be more like, you know, your average grandma.

I see England, I see France, I see special underpants…

December 16, 2009

SPAIN/

I tend to have to take a lot of crap from female readers who say that I use too many photos of attractive women and not enough of men.

Do you see any sweat? My deodorant keeps me dry for hours!

December 15, 2009

Blog Guy, the presidents of those Latin American countries like Venezuela and Cuba, do they make much money? I mean, can you earn a good living doing that?

The all new Lock and Load Blog!

December 2, 2009

Well, drop a grenade down my pants, this one REALLY took me by surprise!

The official tabulation of this blog’s posts for November reveals that the most popular item had nothing to do with Victoria’s Secret or stupid fashions or Barack Obama or the other usual topics.

I’ve seen the captain somewhere before!

November 14, 2009

Blog Guy, my favorite actress is Marcia Gay Harden. Why isn’t she in more stuff?Because Marcia divides her time between acting and her real love, working as the captain of a luxury cruise ship.WHAT?We caught up with her this week in New York City, aboard the Carnival Dream, tooting the horn, dropping the anchor and stuff, charting a course for Louisville or someplace like that.Blog Guy, are you out of  your fricking mind? She’s just there to promote a new cruise ship. That’s it.You know, that’s what I thought at first, too. But look at the caption. It has one of those NOT FOR SALE FOR MARKETING OR ADVERTISING CAMPAIGNS warnings on it.So, why would they bring in a famous actress and then not be able to use the pictures for anything? No, I’m sticking with my original guess, that she’s the captain.Blog Guy, do you always just “guess” at the so-called news you print here?No, not always. Sometimes I just make it up completely.

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You commoners drink this crap?

November 7, 2009

Okay gang, you all know the deal. We’ve actually persuaded Prince Charles to endorse our brand of coffee for a TV commercial!Yeah, he said it’s only Canada so nobody will see it anywhere important, and he can use a few extra bucks.It’s a real advertising coup, but we only get one take, so it has to be perfect the first time.Now, the prince is going to just be walking along doing prince stuff, and ask for a cup of our coffee. He’ll try it, and then give us a big smile of delight.Oh my God! This is our one take? This is supposed to make people buy this crap?Well, we’ve paid for it so we have to use it, but at least edit out that last few seconds where he drops to his knees and spews his lunch on the crowd.

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I want me some o’ what they’re selling!

October 15, 2009

Blog Guy, I represent the creative team of a big advertising agency, and we want to buy a photo for an ad campaign.