Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Will you be taking those grenades all the way to Belgium?
Sometimes I just don’t understand stuff, so maybe you can help me with this exercise in logic.
The security folks at Newark’s airport were X-raying checked baggage a few days ago when they found five hand grenades in a woman’s luggage. Yes, five.
According to our story, the grenades had been disarmed, and the woman surrendered them “without incident.”
She was then allowed to board the flight, bound for Belgium.
Excuse me? These are among the questions I have about this…
- Isn’t carrying more than two hand grenades already by definition an incident?
- If the grenades didn’t pose a threat, why did she have to surrender them?
- Would you want to sit next to somebody who tried packing five grenades in her suitcase?
- Why would a person go to Belgium?
Do we get a snack on this flight, or what?
Quick quiz: You realize your job may sort of suck if you…
a) find yourself on a flight from Malta to Tripoli
b) notice the card by your seat describes you only as the “Senior Leader-in-Transit”
c) are trying to read your PDA with your sunglasses on
d) are trying to study a briefing book and can’t recall if your eyes are open or shut
e) don’t even care when the beverage cart goes by
Yep, seems like it would be one of the more popular posts given the gravity of the mistake lol. I couldn’t resist laughing out loud when I read that error correction.
Our ten-second in-flight movie will be…
Blog Guy, recently you wrote about a bunch of ambitious homemade inventions around the world. A submarine, a helicopter, stuff like that. Do those things actually work?
You bet they do. Here is that farmer in China testing his homemade flying device yesterday. It’s powered by eight motorcycle engines.
Eight motorcycle engines? Cool! Where did he go in it?
Up. About three feet. He hovered for 10 seconds.
Hovering? That’s kind of pointless, isn’t it?
Who’s to say? He may have tapped into a whole new travel market. Leave your worries behind and come hover with us, high above dogs and cats and short people…
Great science projects for your family…
Blog Guy, my daughter, Julie, has to do a school project involving transportation. We were thinking about making a little cardboard sled.
A cardboard sled? Are you a chump? Don’t you care about getting little Julie into a decent college?
But she’s only six.
Six? It may already be too late! Look at what other families are doing in the homemade transportation department.
These folks above, in China, are finishing up a miniature submarine which will be able to dive to 65 feet and spend 10 hours under water.
That’s impressive, but surely it’s one of a kind.
never knock those with imagination and the courage to follow it. After all the Harrier STOVL jet started life as a flying bedstead!
You’ve been upgraded to Gaddafi Class!
Blog Guy, I saw some photos of fugitive strongman Muammar Gaddafi’s private plane, taken at an airport in Tripoli. I’m surprised you didn’t blog about it.
Look, there’s something of a conflict of interest here. As you may have noticed, the plane was a Basler BT-70, built by “my company” for Gaddafi.
But we’ve established you don’t really have a connection to the genuine Basler Airlines.
That’s why “my company” is in quotes. We used Gaddafi’s design, which was problematic.
Why, what did he insist on?
Well, as you can see in the top photo, there’s the huge rollaway bed.
Gaddafi works out his issues
With boxes and boxes of tissues
While he wipes his nose,
He drinks much wine and goes,
“Ish not me! Ish you!”
Cashing in on My Good Name?
Blog Guy, I know you’re busy designing the next generation Basler BT-70 aircraft, but I may want to buy a plane before you have a chance to test your new model.
Test it? What do you mean by that?
Never mind. Anyway, the current Basler BT-67 seems very cool and just what I need, but I saw the list of options and I have a few questions.
Sure. Did you see the options on our cocktail napkins, or did you see the place mat?
It was a glossy place mat, similar to the kind Boeing uses to show off their options.
Anyway, I notice on the wings and the tail it says “metal control surfaces.” What would be my other alternative, besides the metal?
Blog Guy, when is the inaugural flight? In honor of it, this ditty:
There is a flight company out of Oshkosh
With amenities that are great, by gosh.
You should fly Basler Air.
In weather that’s fair.
The on-board donuts are quite posh.
Hardware store? Send more wingnuts!
Blog Guy, I need some of your famous career advice. I recently graduated from college, and Mom gave me a brochure called “The Exciting World of Wing Walking.” I was wondering if I should pursue this?
I guess everybody goes through that phase, including me… We all want to be like Ormer Locklear, the first great daredevil wing walker. THERE was a barnstormer!
Whatever happened to Ormer?
He died in a plane crash while shooting a 1920 movie, “The Skywayman.” They went ahead and used the crash scene in the movie.
I certainly had no idea that you yourself were once a wing walker!
Well, I fell more into the category of wing barfer, but it’s the same general idea. There’s still that adrenaline rush that comes with clutching the top wing with your fingernails while watching your lunch cascade below.
and I thought this was a blog about hardware! haha!
well done.
Seattle Wingnuts
Folks, we may be in for a Trumpy landing
Blog Guy, we know you were pretty upset about Donald Trump not running for president, clearly a huge loss of humor potential for your blog. Are you getting over it?
I don’t have to. My staff researcher found a loophole on page 466 of the book “The Bloggers’ Code.”
Wait a minute. There’s a “Bloggers’ Code” and it’s a BOOK? Shouldn’t it be online?
No. there’s just the coffee table book. Pretty ironic, huh?
Anyway, it turns out if a person continues to fly around in an airplane with his name in huge gold letters on the side, even if the FOR PRESIDENT part is crossed out, then I can keep making fun of his campaign.
I’m sorry. You’ve lost me. What campaign?
Yeah BG, they were pretty much fun.. shame I cant even remember their names.. no harm done, am pretty sure that may change when they get me my meddies for the day..
Okay, what moron closed the sun roof?
Say, Blog Guy, I saw some photos of a solar-powered prototype aircraft being tested. That’s a pretty cool concept. Have you thought about making a solar version of that Basler BT-70 airplane of yours?
Yes, we tried that last year. It gets pretty hot in those solar things, what with going out of your way to absorb sunlight.
Ah, I hadn’t thought of that. So that would be bad.
No, that would be good. When passengers get hot we sell a lot of cold beers and cocktails, which is how airlines really make their money.
I didn’t know that. So you actually sent yours up for a real flight?
Sure. It took right off, beautifully.
@CrowGirl…you know, that’s the way Ghaddafi (GF)’s training his pilot recruits lately…
GF: “Pull the stick back, plane goes up. Turn left, plane tilts left, turn right, plane turns right. Understood?”
Pilot: “Er..excuse me Colonel, but how do we go down?”
GF: “Never mind that, leave that to NATO.”
“We almost always land”
Blog Guy, you haven’t written much recently about your secret career with Basler Turbo, that business in Wisconsin that converts DC-3 planes to be used for specific jobs.
Well, it so happens that right now I am very busy designing a successor to the incredible Basler BT-67 airplane.
Oooooh! Tell us about it! What will the new one do?
I guess I can give you a few secret details. The Basler BT-70 will come in new, highly specialized models.
Such as?
One model is for doing polar research in the Arctic and Antarctic. It has only one wing, so it can constantly fly in small circles. Just what you need at the poles.
Only one wing? Then how do you get it to the poles in the first place?
they are gonna frickin sue you, and then we are no longer related!
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Resident Oddly Enough blog Expert
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You would have hoped that the TSA would have asked her, wouldn’t you..?