Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Now, if you just sign on the dotted line, son, it’ll be official. You’ll be a private in the U.S. Army.
I don’t know sir, I’m still not sure about this.
Well, I’ve seen a lot of movies about the soldier’s life, living in damp tents or slummy barracks…
Why didn’t you say so? Just look at this picture of a new recruit in his own room at basic training. These are the new barracks.
I can’t believe they have the nerve to call this dump a supermarket!
But Ms. Jolie, this isn’t America. Things are different over here.
Well, maybe you and Mr. Pitt could try some other kind of processed cheese product while you’re working here, Ms. Jolie….
Boy, I did not see this one coming.
Who would have guessed you could lose, selling stories like “Angelina, Jennifer Catfight at Arby’s,” “The Chocolate Mousse Diet,” and “Homeless Oprah Lives in Packard” to a captive audience in supermarket checkout lines?
Sure, there were signs the tabloids were heading in an odd direction when some of their scoops started having some truth in them. I’m talking about you, John Edwards and Tiger Woods.
What the hell is going on with this Angelina Jolie movie, Lamar?
Boss, that’s the one where she’s the director. It’s her first time…
I know that, you simpleton! But you’re supposed to be keeping an eye on her, and I’m getting no info on…what’s the movie called again?
Blog Guy, I read your item on Angelina Jolie this week, and it made me wonder who the next “perfect” woman will be.
If you look at Angelina’s sensuous, supple lips, big eyes, mannish hands, and that smile that says, “I could kill you with a pencil,” and put them all together, who do we have?
Quick quiz: This sinewy, tattooed arm and enormous hand belong to…
a) The 2009 national arm-wrestling champion
c) Julius Caesar’s personal calendar slave
d) Actress Angelina Jolie
Your time’s up. It’s Angelina Jolie’s actual arm.
No, Blog Guy! What are you saying! Angelina is every guy’s dream woman!
She’s the ideal! She’s perfect! She’s what actress Melanie Griffith used to be!
Oh, that reminds me, here’s Melanie’s arm, below on the right.
This is just horrible! My world is upside down. Nothing makes sense anymore!
So you’re saying you wouldn’t want to go out on a date with Angelina?
Blog Guy, I’m hosting a super-glitzy dinner party and I’m hoping you can come. The guest list includes Barack and Michelle Obama, Nelson Mandela, Angelina Jolie, Tina Fey, Bob Dylan, Pope Benedict, J.D. Salinger…
Can I sit next to Tina?
Sure, I guess. So you’ll be there? Great! It’s tonight at 8 p.m.
Are you INSANE? Tonight is the two-hour season premiere of House! Like I’m gonna be anyplace other than right in front of my TV at 8 p.m., with a very dry martini and a big bucket of fried chicken!
Hey Blog Guy, it’s ME again! I’m the dude with the photo collection of really rich people eating ice cream. You helped me out last year with a shot of Warren Buffet.
I do remember. How’s that coming along?
Not too well. It turns out that theme is kind of limiting, so I’ve started a new collection, of Oscar-nominated actresses under umbrellas.
Blog Guy, I’m really pumped for the Oscars – I love all the glamour and razzle-dazzle. Don’t the Brits have something like that, too? I’d love to see it.
They have BAFTA. You’d hate it. It’s not nearly as glitzy.
Really? How is it different?
The actors and actresses don’t really show up. They just send pictures, which are placed around the Royal Opera House to look like an audience.