Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
It’s time for this blog’s top five Most Popular Posts for January, measured by reader traffic. So look at the results, and collect your bets.
I should point out that there’s nothing here about the Super Bowl or Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt, but I’m not above mentioning those things to attract readers. Here they are, and good luck to all.
Aactors Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in Tokyo, January 29, 2009. REUTERS/Toru Hanai
Quick quiz: You’re superstar Brad Pitt. Let’s say you are going to have an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction in the vicinity of your trouser fly. When would you want it to happen?
a) Right when you’re breaking up with Gwenyth Paltrow
b) Right when you’re breaking up with Jennifer Aniston
c) Right when you’re breaking up with Angelina Jolie
d) While you are posing for 620,000 press photographers to promote an Oscar-nominated movie.
Blog Guy, I heard about some awesome new software that automatically makes you look better in photos than you do in real life!
Yeah, I know all about it. It was developed by computer scientists, and it works! The software applies a formula to turn original shot of this woman, on the left, into the more attractive version on the right.
Blog Guy, I’m the one who asked a lot about Angelina Jolie and her twins at the hospital in Nice recently. You can’t ignore me, because you’ve sworn the Bloggers’ Oath.
What do you want this time?
If people send gifts to Angelina and Brad and the twins, who delivers them? Are those French postal workers attractive? What should the packages look like?
I’ll sure get what I can for you from our recent photo file.
Um, it’s a white one, I guess maybe you’d call it a fedora? Here’s a photo of it on his head.
It’s time again for that annual event reminding all of us that some people have way, way too much money.
Of course I’m talking about the unveiling of this year’s ”Neiman Marcus Christmas Book,” that holiday catalog that gives journalists a chance to gush over gifts they can’t afford, for readers who can’t afford them either, while a department store gets free publicity beyond belief.
Dear Blog Guy,
If there are aliens from space spying on us, do you think they fully understand everything we do?
Well, Curious, I know for certain they don’t understand why we make lifeless wax figures of our celebrities, put them in a museum, and then go shoot pictures of them as if they were actual humans. What is the news value in showing a waxy Angelina Jolie, a waxy Brad Pitt and a little bitty waxy baby? Maybe some reader can wax lyrical and explain that to us. Meanwhile, maybe I’ll get their autographs — anybody got a stylus and some wax paper?
This just in from Namibia, where Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are waiting for their baby to come along. A local radio station conducted an informal poll, and 50 percent of the people who responded thought the day the baby is born should be declared a national holiday.
Okay, just as long as they’re not going overboard about this thing. Here’s the story: