Blog Guy, my mom told me to ask you about the birds and the bees.

She WHAT?

She said you know a lot of stuff and you could explain it to me.

That’s quite a responsibility.  I checked yesterday’s photo file, which is where I get most of my information, and I think I can help you.

It turns out, bees land on sunflowers in California to gather pollen, and birds sit in nests in Belarus. Does that do it for you?

I thought it would be a little more interesting. After all, I am 26 years old!

Ah. In that case, be patient. I’m sure we’ll have some more shots of Victoria’s Secret models in the next few days.

Stop trying to be cool. Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Above: A bee lands on a sunflower to gather pollen in Encinitas, California June 23, 2009. REUTERS/Mike Blake  

Left: A white-tailed eagle chick sits in its nest in a forest near the village of Tsemenitsa, Belarus, June 23, 2009.  REUTERS/Vasily Fedosenko

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Ring ring ring…

“Hello? Is this the police? I want to come down to the station to report a stolen car…”

“Your call is important to us. Currently our office is being overrun by hundreds of venomous snakes, so please expect to be bitten a few times and maybe die.”

“Ah, then I think I’ll just wait. Maybe I’ll start taking the bus instead of driving. Good-bye.”

The above was a simulated conversation about a real situation over in Sierra Leone, where an actual police station is overflowing with slithering cobras and vipers.

According to our story they’ve tried getting rid of them by using snake charmers and have also tried smoking them out, with no luck. The next plan is to use firemen and soldiers to flood them out, which I’m guessing they haven’t properly discussed with experts or with their insurance agents.

I’m also guessing that the only bright spot is that reported crimes in that precinct are way, way down.

Feel better about yourself. Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Above: Snake Handler Jack Bibby dangles rattlesnakes from his mouth during a performance at the Taylor Rattlesnake Sacking Championships in Taylor, Texas, in a 2007 file photo. REUTERS/Jessica Rinaldi

Left: A traditional dancing devil parades down the streets of central Freetown, Sierra Leone, in a 2008 file photo. REUTERS/Katrina Manson

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, is it just me, or does it seem like these days you don’t see as many ferrets in fashion shows as you used to?

No, I see just as many ferrets as ever.

What about roosters? I’m not seeing so many of those, either.

I don’t know what kind of fashion shows you go to, but I’m seeing more roosters than ever on the runways. Look at this weekend show. Roosters, ferrets, snakes, porcupines…

Really? And what about ring-tailed lemurs?

LEMURS? Lemurs at a fashion show? Right. You just don’t get it, do you, slick?

Models and animals slideshow

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Tweat yourself to this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Above: A model holds a ferret during the Defile.zoo fashion show in the zoo in St. Petersburg May 24, 2009. The show featured creations by local designers who promoted clothes made out of natural materials and without the use of fur.

Left: A model holds a rooster during the show.

REUTERS photos by Alexander Demianchuk

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Hang on just a dad-gum minute there, Blog Guy!

What’s wrong, stranger who talks just like Jed Clampett?

You had a purty good sign of the Apocalypse a couple days back, but I reckon you overlooked a better one. I saw some Reuters photos of…

Yes, yes, I know. I’ve had nightmares. You mean the dressed-up pigs?

Durn tootin’ I do!

Yeah, they dress pigs up like humans at this festival in the Philippines. I saw Zorro, a bride and groom, some boxers, then I passed out.

So you missed the piggy weddin’ song, “Days of Swine and Roses?”

Sigh. I’m getting up a petition objecting to this event. Want to sign?

Shore, but how do you send a big petition all the way to the Philippines?

I just use a Manila envelope.

Waste your life! Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Tweat yourself to this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Above: A roasted pig dressed like Zorro is on a wooden horse during an annual Lechon (roasted pig) festival in Manila, May 17, 2009.

Left: A man fixes a wig of a roasted pig dressed as a bride and groom during Lechon festival.

REUTERS/Cheryl Ravelo

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Quick quiz: Thousands of live rats in Cambodia, shown in crates below, are being shipped to Vietnam to…

a) enjoy a getaway at one of the world’s top rat vacation destinations.

b) be used as Happy Rat Day gifts.

c) take part in a rat exchange which could lead to a foreign exchange program involving real students.

d) be eaten up by people.

Is that your final answer? Yes, I’m afraid they are heading off to be eaten.

Still, if that surprises you then I guess you missed my blog a couple of weeks ago headlined Another bowl of blood, Lonnie! Shame on you!

What have you got to lose? join the Oddly Enough blog network

Tweat yourself to this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Above: A boy shows off a rat he caught at Kandal province, Cambodia, May 15, 2009.

Left: Live rats are stored in Kandal province, awaiting transport to Vietnam.

REUTERS photos by Chor Sokunthea

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, you write a lot about bullfighting, so you’re probably aware the new season has begun. How about giving us some behind-the-scenes stuff that most people don’t know about the tradition and pageantry of the sport?

Okay but remember, technically bullfighting isn’t a sport, it’s a ”sport”. In the photo below, matadors and their assistants are performing the “paseillo” before starting a bullfight.

My Spanish is very rusty, but I believe “paseillo” means walking around the ring cleaning up cigarette butts and bull poop.

That’s interesting. I wasn’t aware the matadors had to do such menial stuff.

Who else is gonna do it? When you put on funny outfits and torture animals to death for a living you’ve pretty much hit rock bottom already.

What about this other photo, with the capes?

The matadors are having a picnic. They’re looking for a good place to spread out their pink blankets where maybe the bulls won’t find them right away, so they can enjoy some tasteless flan.

Gosh, the way you describe it, it loses a lot of its romance.

Good.

Don’t rest until you join the Oddly Enough blog network

Above: Spanish matadors and their assistants warm up before starting a bullfight at The Maestranza bull ring in Seville, April 12, 2009.

Below: Spanish matadors and their assistants perform the “paseillo” before starting a bullfight at the ring.

REUTERS photos by Marcelo del Pozo

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, I know you follow the advertising business. I was wondering if successful ad campaigns in the States work well overseas, as well?

Not always. You know those insurance commercials where that obnoxious duck keeps saying “AFLAC!” until you want to wring its neck?

Duck? I thought that was a goose.

Really?  I’ll take a gander at Google…

A gander?  So anyway, what happened?

They tried shooting that commercial in Hungary, and the duck did his AFLAC! thing near a line of riot police.

And?

Turns out the cops weren’t discussing insurance. They were talking about dinner, and Hungarian cuisine relies heavily on ducks and geese. You do the math. 

Is any of this true?

No, but it’s like that saying, ”If:it looks like a duck and walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…then let’s roast it in sauerkraut and caraway seeds and eat it!”

No animals were harmed in doing this blog

 Meet better people. Join the Oddly Enough blog network

A goose is seen in front of a police line after being released by anti-government protesters during a rally in front of Budapest’s parliament building April 14, 2009. REUTERS/Laszlo Balogh

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, They say you have incredible resources, and you can set up shots of the wildest fantasies. Is that true?

I don’t like to boast … Just tell me what you want.

Like most young women, I dream of doing a porn movie with a 75-year-old guy, while an orangutuan whistles “Dixie.” I can see him now, in a red loin cloth and blue kimono…

Yikes. Do you know how hard it is to get a loin cloth and kimono on an orangutuan?

No, no, the SENIOR CITIZEN wears those!

I’m glad you clarified that. Okay, here’s the old porn guy, and here’s a whistling orangutuan. We’ll get back to you with further instructions okay?

Get back to me? What’s the hold-up,?

Well, we DO need a good script, you know!

Photo slideshow of senior citizen porn guy

Welcome to my world. Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

Pornographic movie actor Shigeo Tokuda poses during the shooting of his latest film in Ichikawa, east of Tokyo, April 13, 2009. Tokuda is Japan’s oldest pornographic movie star. REUTERS/Kim Kyung-Hoon.

More stuff from Oddly Enough

I’m not going to prolong it. The Worst Job in the World title came down to a number of factors - danger, grossness, fecalocitude, etc.

In the end, I had to choose the worst job I happen to have a photo of, and that brings us to the exciting field of elephant proctology.

Astoundingly, one person guessed it right in a comment on my Oddly Enough Facebook blog wall. They left no name, which I guess means they’re currently wanted by the law for something or other.

For those of you wondering what the doctor is saying here:

• “Damn Verizon! I’m getting no reception in here at all!”
• “Feels like he had egg salad and guacamole for dinner.”
• “Bring me the tree trimmers! He’s got hemorrhoids the size of a schnauzer!”
• “I found my lunchbox, Lonnie! Is it noon yet?”
  

Here is the job in real life, so you college grads looking at glossy brochures, pay attention! Got a degree in creative writing? The interview line starts you-know-where.

If you like this blog, become a community organizer. Comment on it. Send it to your friends and enemies. Link to it from  your blogs and Websites. Share it, Digg it, Mixx it, Twitter it. What’s the worst they can do to you?

Meet interesting people. Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

A doctor cleans the rectum of Jamilah, a 29-year-old female elephant, before conducting a four-dimensional ultrasound exam, in a 2007 file photo. REUTERS/Tim Chong

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, I represent a project to open a Johnny Cash Zoo, and I….

A what?

You know, a zoo where all the animals dress in black, like Johnny Cash did.

What would be the point of that?

Our target audience is families who want to go to the zoo, but don’t want to be cheered up by the visit. We also own a Johnny Cash Circus and a Johnny Cash Amusement Park.

Ah. Clowns dressed in black?

Totally. So anyhow, I’m looking for a designer who can do our animal wardrobe.

I recommend this guy, who just presented a whole bunch of creations like that.

Great! He can start tomorrow, in our Dark Cave of the Rabid Bats!

Sounds like a good place for him.

Impress the babes. Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

Models present creations from J. Smith Esquire during the Barcelona fashion Autumn Winter collection show in Barcelona, March 18, 2009.REUTERS/ Albert Gea

More stuff from Oddly Enough