Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
All of you know our motto here at Acme Snake Charming School: “Safety is pretty darned important.”
So, which one of you clowns rewrote the instructions for beginning students, to tell them to take the baskets with king cobras inside and overturn them on their own heads?
Related: The other guys dared you to do WHAT?
Have you thought about a goat wash? You can do two at a time, as the photo below shows. Dirty goat owners would flock to you.
We live in an upscale suburban neighborhood. Most of the goats here are already clean.
We’ve brainstormed it and decided to dress our animals in the latest haute couture fashions. We’ll promote it as “Vogue Meets Rogue!” Don’t you just love it?
A phobic fear of dirt and filth is not something you expect to find in a pig.
Something like that could certainly hamper a pig’s lifestyle, what with all the mud-wallowing and slopping and troughing that are expected of you. Unless maybe…
Unless your personality disorder gets you your own pair of Wellington boots so you can stay clean, which makes people think you’re adorable and attracts attention. And that gives your owners the idea to keep you around as a mascot, instead of using you for that other thing they do, at their sausage company.
Yes, indeed. The dogs were given several acres of wooded land about five years ago, as an experiment to see what they could accomplish.
I should give him something. He’s the king! I could hurl my shiny sword at him, but you can get in trouble for doing that… They would call me “The Stupid One.”
Blog Guy, a few weeks ago you had a post called Please bear with me… where you invited readers to help choose the cutest animal on Earth – polar bears or giant pandas. Was that ever resolved?
No, and don’t even get me started. Those pandas turned out to be, excuse me, overbearing. They sent their “committee” to meet with me, and they never left.
We have a video report about how auto designers are shifting into neuteral, so to speak, fighting for the pet owner market by adding Fido-friendly features. I have a list of the options my own dogs are demanding:
- peanut butter dispenser
- big fans aimed at their face
- toast and jelly dispenser
- indoor tennis ball flinger
Come to think of it, that doesn’t sound like such a bad car, does it?
Sure. For instance, say you find yourself on the ground, staring into the face of a bull who is pretty annoyed over being tortured for no reason. There are a number of clever comments bullfighters use to bamboozle the animal: