Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Let’s see. I know for sure that $14 million worth of flawless diamonds are in the mansion. I know this is the one day a year when they leave that titanium vault open and the back door ajar so the appraiser can get in. This is the day they take their killer dobermans on a picnic and leave two friendly, well-fed golden retrievers to guard the whole shebang…
And for sure, this is the one day they leave that big iron gate unlocked, and turn off the lethal electrical charge that always surges through it… Wait! DID I check on that darned electricity thing, or not? I’m not sure…
More posts about crime
A member of the Street Show PK Club shows parkour skills at a park in Hangzhou, China, April 9, 2008. Parkour is “the art of moving,” involving moving from one point to another as efficiently and quickly as possible. REUTERS/ Steven Shi
Blog Guy, every now and then you stop being sarcastic long enough to feature cute animals on your blog. But lately, they’ve all been polar bear cubs from Germany. One right after another. Are you on the German zoo payroll?
No way. I have ethical standards, and anyway, the Germans zoos haven’t offered. I’ve actually been working to choose the world’s cutest variety of animal, and I’ve narrowed it down to pandas and polar bears. I want as many opinions as possible, so check out these posts and get back to me.
So now, endless miles of Caribbean sand, and Clancy is the only one wearing gold braid and fuzzy epaulettes. The other guys are wearing flip-flops, not fuschia socks and dancing shoes like his.
Yeah, sort of. My impression is that we could use more cute animals on our stamps.
Blog Guy, I have a HUGE money-making idea. Can I swear you to secrecy?
Cool. I’m writing a show where animals recreate historic scenes. Gettysburg, Iwo Jima, the Wright brothers, ALL done by animals! I even want to have “Kilroy was here,” that cartoon from World War II. You think an animal could do that?
Hmm. Me and my readers might be able to help you out, for a price…
More cute animals
I don’t know, Dad, sometimes I think it was a mistake opening this dude ranch for morons. I mean, I’m lookin’ out the window right now, and there’s this city slicker STANDING on his saddle. No, I ain’t kidding.
And this dandy ain’t just standing, he’s twirlin’ a rope and fixin’ to lasso his horse! Yeah, I’m just about to whistle real loud, and you know old Stormy will go right into a gallop. I need to make sure the guy’s check has cleared first, though.
So here I am, dressed like Elton John, in front of all these boobs who came to see blood. They expect me to take my sword and… Caramba! I left my sword at home, on the sofa! Under my CAPE! Can anything ELSE go wrong today?
So, for times when you need to combine protection and fashion, what’s better than a six-foot snake? Nothing says, “Get lost!” like a big set of fangs dangling over your hand.