Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, I know you’ve said bullfighting isn’t a wise career choice for college seniors, but the profession still intrigues me. Isn’t there anything in the pointless animal torture field that might suit me?
Look, there’s more to a career than silly outfits. You might consider becoming a creepador. As you can see in this photo, this furtive fellow works in the shadows, irritating the bull with whispered slurs and insults, mostly recycled Don Rickles material.
The creepador gets the bull so furious that it doesn’t notice the sniperdor, way up in the bleachers, who shoots the animal with a high-powered rifle just as the bullfighter is about to stick those pointed things in it. But remember, the creepador is like the vice president. If something happens to the real bullfighter, guess who gets an instant promotion?
We have video showing new technology being used to make art more fun, as kids can now talk with people in classics such as the Mona Lisa, and get replies.
Are you kidding? They are wasting this magic on education? Does nobody have a sense of humor? Why not install these gizmos instead of the real art? Imagine sweaty tourists shuffling by, when suddenly Mona Lisa starts talking to them…
Good timing, faithful reader. I have a fresh photo of Flocke, the Nuremberg polar bear, so enjoy it. As always, if you don’t know anybody who would love to receive this picture from you, then you need a whole new circle of friends. Also, check out more cute animals.
After recently breaking huge stories about remakes of “The Birds” and “The Great Escape,” this blog has more Hollywood news. It turns out they’ve done a cheap remake of the 1984 Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah mermaid hit, “Splash.”
There are worrisome questions about whether the costume designer was wise to cover the female star from chin to floor. As the publicity photo below shows, she looks more like one of those big sea lions than Hannah’s sexy, playful mermaid.
Welcome to a feature we call “Euphemisms in the News.” The genuine photo caption here tells us “people try to avoid a bull which was set loose in the town center…as part of yearly celebrations…”
Um, do these folks not have access to the news? Doesn’t it seem a better way to avoid the bull would be to NOT come downtown that day?
Here’s something. If you answer a job ad looking for somebody to ride horses, look in front of the word horses. If you see the word wild there, hang up the phone.
Luckily, dinosaurs haven’t been this abundant for about 65 million years. You could try the usual specialty shops, like The Lizard Wizard, or Carnivore Store, or even that boutique ice cream and dinosaur outlet, Cones ‘n Bones.
That means if you ride it, at some point your cheeks will be flapping like Dumbo’s ears, and your eyes will be so far back in your skull you can scan your own brain.
We have a story about a breeder of fighting bulls who plans to clone his best stud. The stud sired two bulls that impressed a famous bullfighter named El Juli so much that we’re told he “keeps their heads mounted at home.”
Excuse me? Where I’m from, we don’t say, ”That’s a real impressive dog you have there, Judy! I’d like to hang its head in my rec room.”