Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, the Oscars are a few days away, and you haven’t offered any opinions.
Look, I’ll be brutally honest. Every year the Academy snubs the Tokyo Zoo Security movie, and I’ve just reached my boiling point.
Blog Guy, a couple of days ago you posted an item on a surfboarding cat in Peru. It’s not that I doubt you or anything, but if this is true, wouldn’t you have video of it?
As a matter of fact, yes. Here is footage not only of the cat, but a surfing dog, too.
Movie buffs, it’s true what you’ve heard. There is a remake of “The Great Escape,” and the Steve McQueen part, complete with the classic motorcycle scene, is played by a frog. This was quite a radical casting decision, and it meant the other key roles had to be filled either by itty-bitty actors, or very well-trained amphibians.
The benefits of this strategy are obvious, of course. The whole movie was shot on a small sound stage, and four children with beach toys dug the escape tunnel in one afternoon, working only for juice boxes.
A zoo in England is renovating for the first time in years, and they’re letting the animals have a direct role in making the decisions, which is really gonna slow things down. I have a bunch of animals of my own, and I would never ask for their opinions on important stuff.
Anyway, lemurs are among the worst – they are nature’s original micro-managers. This guy here is demanding that his section’s ancient transport vehicle, the “Lemur Steamer,” be replaced with a spiffy new red “Lemur Beemer” convertible.
Blog Guy, I know you usually go for the absurd and bizarre, but now and then you go for cute animals. Is there ever a time when the two converge?
It’s rare, but it happens. Like in this rough cut video of cats playing guitars and meowing Christmas songs. It’s like rubbernecking at a wreck, but I can’t stop watching.
I don’t know for sure what this thing is. It looks like a bunch of blond braided hair, topped off with an anvil or a small horse head, and I gather these things are being hurled from rafters onto unsuspecting fashion models these days.
Obviously, safety precautions at this fashion show were inadequate. You can see the special horse head anvil protective netting snagged the thing but didn’t stop it, so now this poor women will have to undergo a painful horse head anvilectomy to remove it.
It’s fun to read between the lines. We have this photo of a very, very large snake being carried off by guys in a village in Brazil. The caption says the snake was found at an “abandoned house.” Really? What a surprise to learn that a house containing a 20-foot anaconda was abandoned, instead of fully occupied by folks determined to hold their ground.
The caption further informs us the snake was reported by “frightened” residents. Good, that clears up the motivation, in case you thought they were just meddling buttinskies complaining for no good reason.
Okay, what’s wrong with this picture? According to the caption, these farmers’ wives are taking a wooden carriage ride in a traditional 17th century event named for Saint Leonhard, the patron saint of animals, and they…
Excuse me? Patron saint of animals? Well, unless that fox tumbled from a tree and got conked unconscious, this frau has some serious explaining to do to the saint.
I look at these fashion photos, and I’d like to think somebody is shooting that prequel to Snakes on a Plane, the long-rumored Snakes on a Runway.
But sadly, I know better. Truth is, the cultural gulch between fashion designers and regular people is now so wide that somebody on the other side thinks there is a market for finery to wear to those “You and your snakes are invited…” parties we keep reading about.
Okay, these folks are playing EXTREME poker, hanging over a cliff, which means their regular poker face is tinged with green and you don’t know if they’re going to bluff or barf.
Boring. I’m waiting for EXTREMELY Extreme Poker. People, next week’s game will dangle over a shark pool, and the cable will be cut halfway through. Some of the cards will be glazed with anthrax, and hungry wolverines will leap at you from the cliff.