Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, I guess this is a tough time for you. I mean, it’s summer and people are doing other things, so your blog traffic must have dropped.
Is there anything you can do to attract readers? You know, any little tricks?
Well, normally when it gets really bad I pay a chimpanzee to feed milk to a tiger cub. Then I get photos that are adorable beyond comprehension, and run them in my blog.
No way! Doesn’t that violate some kind of Blogger Code of Ethics or something?
Only if the blogging authorities catch me doing it. You won’t tell anybody, will you?
It’s a vintage Rolls Royce convertible, bristling with firepower. A mounted machine gun, a Lantaka swivel cannon, a double-barrel high-caliber Howdah pistol. And it used to belong to James Bond, right?
Readers of this blog know I’m always amazed that people will spend tons of money to own stuff touched by a genuine dumbass. A Jesse James autograph, Lee Harvey Oswald’s coffin, Bernie Madoff’s underwear.
Okay, do I have to solve everybody’s problems all by myself?
We have a real news story saying more and more zoos are allowing visitors to spend the night, so they can learn “what happens when the gates slam shut, the sun goes down and the moon rises…”
Blog Guy, I know you’ve been to other countries, and I have a question. Do their sports teams have mascots like ours do?
There are some, but I believe they are hunted down and shot, as you can see in the photo here. As a result, it is not a very popular career path.
Blog Guy, I really enjoyed your item on Medo, the world’s cutest bear, visiting your blog a few days ago.
Thanks, that one was very popular. Readers loved Medo.
Can you give us some more pix of him?
Sure, you got it. I’ll do it right now as my Sunday blog post, and then I can go back to sleep.
Blog Guy, have you ever done anything as a blogger that you’re really ashamed of?
Nothing that anybody can prove.
Okay, okay, I guess you’ve heard I hired Medo the Bear Cub to do cute stuff on my blog today. I mean, we’re heading into the summer lull and I need the traffic.
Johnson, get your butt into my office!
What did I do now, Boss? I thought I was improving as a news photographer.
You are! I see all of our clients used YOUR photos of new those tiger cubs at the zoo. It’s as if the competition didn’t even send anybody!
They did send a photographer, Boss. The tigers ate him. It was pretty gross.
And while this poor guy was being torn limb from limb, you just kept shooting the cute little cubs?