Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Dear Blog Guy,
You seem to know quite a bit about unusual social situations. I’ve asked a nice girl to go with me to run with the bulls. Any tips on what chicks expect on a date like this?
Yes, there are some rules of etiquette. For instance, notice this guy, who seems about to be squashed. His right arm offers firm support for the young woman, as he averts his gaze from her turquoise panties that are riding up. He makes diplomatic smalltalk about where they might go to dinner later, if chewing is still an option for them.
Of course, there is some chance that he’s just grabbing her to fling her behind him, hoping she will slow the bull down by a nanosecond and he can save his own miserable life. If you pull that stunt, do not expect a good-night kiss.
Villagers run from a bull in the town centre of Ponte da Lima, Portugal, June 6, 2007, as part of the annual “Vacas das Cordas” celebrations. REUTERS/Nacho Doce
“Hey, Bill, you take your cell phone into the jungle and we’ll call you…It’ll be fun!”
It turns out this area in India has a problem with leopards wandering into human settlements, which is something you would consider more urgent than, say, mice or mosquitoes, and they’ve come up with a novel way to catch the big cats. They set the ringtones on their cell phones for the sounds of cows mooing and goats bleating, amplify them through speakers for hours until a curious leopard arrives, then they capture it.
I know we seem to spend quite a bit of time covering snake news here. In recent weeks we’ve featured Name your poison, Reading to snakes: they like hisssstory, Which end of the snake goes in my mouth?, Snakes crawling on my body? What, youre out of rats? and lots of other stories and pictures.
Here we go again, with photos of people draping a religious statue with snakes. They’re newsworthy because heck, you’ve got lots of people jammed so tightly they can’t move, and you’ve got big snakes with nowhere to go, who eventually are going to decide they’re tired of being on the St. Domenico statue. What could possibly go wrong?
Please don’t get me wrong. I’m all in favor of better-educated reptiles, and I donate money to those charities that give scholarships to very bright lizards and tortoises.
Still, I am conflicted over this photo from China. As a person trying to guide young people into the better professions, I have to say if a job description dictates that you will be sitting in an enclosure reading books to slithering snakes while a bunch of gawkers take pictures outside, then maybe you should have majored in something other than art history or film studies in college.
I’m talking to you college seniors now, who are about to graduate and are looking around for that all-important first job. Two words for you: snake handling.
I know, you’re saying, “Bob, that sounds really hard, and I’d probably have to work weekends!” But believe me, people look at you differently when you wear that blue shirt and your business card has the word rattlesnake on it.
You remember the posting yesterday showing a wolf hunter blowing into his gun? It didn’t look like the safest thing in the world, and it brought to mind that wise saying, “Friends don’t let friends suck on a gun barrel.”
Well, it gets better. The hunt is over now, and what nicer way to celebrate than with a picnic on the hood of your car, complete with ample supplies of vodka? We’ve got our guns and our booze and our car – a perfect combo.
Is Elmer Fudd off hunting wolves in Belarus, or do they just not have much of a firearm safety education program over there?
Our photo caption says this guy is using his gun as a horn to gather hunters. What? So, there’s like a horn shortage in Belarus? Horns are so hard to come by that guys are forced to stick a gun barrel in their mouth to communicate?
If you decide to go on a date with somebody you met on the Internet, it’s probably easier to hide the fact that you’re already married than it is to keep pets a secret. There’s hair on everything you wear, you have those sticky lint rollers in your car, and when you dig in your pockets for money you pull out plastic bags for cleaning up after your dog.
So, you may as well be honest about it up front, which is where a new Dutch dating site comes in handy. Inspired by similar sites in the U.S. and Britain, it is specifically aimed at finding a partner who is compatible with your dog, cat, snake or spider.
There is probably nothing else like it anywhere on Earth, and we can probably be thankful for that.
A stuffed squirrel clutches a fishing rod. A dead badger hefts a football for a winning pass. Other late animals enjoy a carousel ride and something called the “Topless Girlie Show.”