Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

The elephant sneezed and fell on his knees…

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SRILANKA/

CUT! Okay, let me see the director RIGHT NOW!

Lamar! I gave you $160 million to make an enchanting live action children’s movie based on that enduring song, “The Animal Fair.” Then I come down here two months into the shoot, and I find this crap?

Relax Boss. It’s all in the song.

Look here at the lyrics, the last line: “The elephant sneezed and fell on his knees, and what became of the monk?” See?

Lamar, the song is talking about a MONKEY, not a Buddhist monk!

A real monkey?

Yes.

Jeez Boss, I wish we’d known that when there was still time to save that poor stunt guy in the orange outfit.

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Top: An elephant plays with a Buddhist monk as it tries to climb steps at a temple that is preparing for the New Year, in Colombo April 11, 2010. REUTERS/Dinuka Liyanawatte

A short-sighted strategy in the bull ring?

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SPAIN-BULLFIGHTING/

Blog Guy, I’ve never seen a bullfighter wearing glasses. Does that mean torturing animals to death in public is good for one’s eyesight?

Wow, that’s some really twisted logic there, stranger. No, bullfighters just tend to be extremely vain. I mean, who else would dress the way they do?

Monkey cops, when it’s a jungle out there!

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THAILAND-SOUTH/

Okay boys, prepare yourselves for the new smash hit series of  the fall TV season. This is the kind of high concept creativity that made network programming what it is today.

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It’s about this small town that can’t afford to fund its police force, so a bunch of monkeys come out of the jungle and take over the cop duties. Is that brilliant, or what?

Finally, an animal sport I can enjoy?

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Blog Guy, you write a lot about strange sports, but you always seem to make fun of them. Maybe you just shouldn’t be a sports writer. Is there ONE odd sport that you really enjoy watching?

RUSSIA/

As a matter of fact, yes. I was just looking at a photo of Kok-boru, a traditional game played in Kyrgyzstan. It appears to involve a horse throwing off a bad rider and dragging him around in the dirt. Now THAT’S sporting!

All the cute you need….

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Blog Guy, I’ve had a very draining week, and I need something to cheer me up.

I hear  you. I’ve had kind of an emotional roller coaster ride myself this week.

Fashion photography, the age of aquariums?

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Blog Guy, it’s me, that aspiring photojournalist you’ve been mentoring.

Oh cripes, what now? I thought I lost you in the crowd!

NORTHERN IRELAND/

Nope, your Afro wig and handlebar mustache are obvious fakes. Look, I just shot my first fashion show, and I wondered if you could critique my….

Top 10 things about the blog in February

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This was a very good month for the blog. I tried doing a few items in list form, and it paid off in page views. I did this for 10 reasons, but I don’t remember what they were.

USA/The most popular post of the month, by far, was Top 10 things I learned in the blizzard.

ALL of you girls are named Bambi?

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BRITAIN/

Okay, Dr., uh, Smith, let me see if I understand what you’re saying here.

BRITAIN/You’re telling me that you can breed fashion models that are part human and part animal, so they can show our new designs but we don’t have to pay them? Is that it?

Do they look pretty presentable, all things considered? Antlers AND fur? I guess nobody’s perfect.

Uh-oh, that don’t sound like a yodel…

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Blog Guy, I saw a reference in a Vancouver Olympics story to Men’s Downhill Skiing as being the most dangerous sport at the Games. Could that be true? I mean, I know accidents happen, but there are other very dangerous events.

OLYMPICS-ALPINE SKIING/

You would normally be right, except for the recent discovery of a pack of wild lynx living in the mountains near the Men’s Downhill finish line. That kind of automatically raises the danger level a few notches.

Cutest photos of the year, so far…

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COLOMBIA/

Blog Guy, what’s the most shockingly shameless thing you’ve ever done to attract reader traffic to your blog?

COLOMBIA/Um, I’m guessing it might be posting pictures of a cat breastfeeding an injured squirrel while her kitten snuggles with it, and the little kitten and the squirrel hugging each other, and the squirrel eating out of the cat dish….