Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Sometimes when we touch, the honesty’s too much…

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, may I introduce a serious topic here please?

I wish you wouldn’t. This is supposed to be a humor blog, even if that isn’t always obvious.

BRITAIN/Thanks. I know you love animals. Our pet polar bear has been despondent lately. You know, moody, depressed. His penguin friends who come over seem the same way. Maybe it has to do with that global warming thing.

See, when I said I wish you wouldn’t, I meant….

Lately, we’re worried they might even hurt themselves. They seem THAT unhappy.

One animal health Website suggested leaving them alone in the house for a day with music playing loudly, to cheer them up.

Raise your hand if you could use a drink!

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I have to wonder what’s really going on here. The caption says these are U.S. Marines watching as a dude from the Thai Navy catches a cobra with his bare hands during a “jungle survival exercise,” but look at them. They’re chuckling and taking photos!

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Is there some part of “jungle survival exercise” that seems to confuse them? Do they think this is just a Thai ventriloquist act?

I guess he’s seen a dart gun before, Earl!

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INDIA/

I’ll tell you what, Earl, this ain’t good. When a tiger escapes from a zoo, somebody notices something like that!

I got it under control, Boss!

tiger dart crop 260Under control? It’s Family Day here, a huge tiger is stalking the grounds looking for lunch, and it’s under control?

The place to go when you really NEED to pull a head off!

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I  just don’t get it about Spain. Those people over there only seem to be entertained if they’re doing something twisted to animals, live or dead.

I’ve blogged endlessly about bullfighting, the sport of psychopaths, and about those louts who run with the bulls in Pamplona. The bulls never catch a break in either of those activities.

What year is this again?

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Welcome back to another installment of our occasional feature, What Year is this Again?

NETHERLANDS/Quick quiz: The Dutch Parliament banned human sex with animals in…

a) 1622

b) 1623

c) 1624

d) 2010

Yeah, I know 1622 SEEMS like it should be the answer, but it’s really 2010.

Once upon a time, in a blog like this…

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Blog Guy, it’s me. Goldilocks. All grown up. Out here on the slag pile where fairytale characters go when they’ve outlived their usefulness. Wrung out, discarded like old porridge…

Yeah, I get it. What are you doing in this sleazy dive? What happened to the three bears?

What’s gone wrong with this blog?

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Blog Guy, what’s up with your blog? You used to vow that nobody would EVER learn anything here, but suddenly we’re finding out about Ned Kelly, Kalashnikov Rifles… Plus, words like “plethora” and “duvet” are showing up! I hate to complain, but…

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I know, I’m sorry. I got myself into a bind. For tax purposes I’ve had to restructure my blog as an educational tool, so that pathetically substandard schools can offer credit to students who read it.

You get one piece of carrion luggage…

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Blog Guy, I know you’re a respected travel writer and I need some advice. I’m going to Kazakhstan next week, and…..

Do you mind if I ask why?

That’s a funny story. I got it mixed-up with Scotland, and now it’s too late to change. So what’s the best domestic airline for getting from place to place over there?

Hi, I’m your hamburger helper…

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Readers know I blog a lot about bullfighting, because, well, it’s a very easy target that ridicules itself with very little help from me.

Defenders of the “sport” then send comments telling me how very brave the bullfighters are, staring death in the face and so on.

Way down upon the Swanie River

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Blog Guy, you seem to know a lot about nature. Can swans fly?

No. They can neither fly nor swim.

What? Hold on, I’ve SEEN swans swimming in lakes and rivers and stuff!

No, you’ve seen swans, which have very long legs, PRETENDING to swim. Mostly, though, they prefer to travel by boat.

Is that right? And where are they going in these photos?

Well, first they’re going to the doctor, and then for a treat they’re going to the ballet.