Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

My armadillo needs a pillow…

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Blog Guy, I have a recipe for armadillo. Do you know a place to buy good ones?

Sure, I go down to Brazil and get mine from Leonardo’s Armadillos.

Leonardo? Didn’t he used to have a shop in Amarillo?

Yes, but Leonardo’s Amarillo Armadillos got closed down for certain peccadillos.

Say no more, I’ve heard all about those armadillo peccadillos! How does Leonardo sell his armadillos?

By the kilo.

Yummy! Armadillo by the kilo! So if I go down to Brazil, how will I know Leonardo?

He’ll be smoking a cigarillo…

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Leonardo Lima da Silva, 17, offers for sale to passing vehicles an armadillo that he and his brother hunted to earn cash, near Maraba in the Brazilian Amazon region, August 18, 2009. REUTERS/Paulo Santos

Gored of the rings?

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Blog Guy, thanks for keeping that information flowing about the proud tradition of bullfighting, even though I don’t think you like it very much.

I thought I was hiding my feelings pretty well.

So does the bullfighter interact with the crowd at all during the event?

You bet. Here you can see what is called El Winkador. It’s the matador’s way of saying, “I’m midway through torturing a poor animal to death, wink wink. Aren’t I cute?”

That fake blood looks SO real!

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Okay group, the Rome Tourist Board hired us to crisis manage this horrible PR problem in the middle of tourist season. Their security guards are having a job action at one of the most popular attractions, the Colosseum.

Getting those protesting guards to leave the Colosseum could turn very ugly, but we’ve come up with a plan.

Spain’s school for waiters! Flan with élan?

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Okay gentlemen, listen up. You’re all here because you were accepted at Fancypants University! Good old FU, the best school for waiters in all of Spain.

You look muy bueno in your festive outfits, with your tablecloths folded over your arms.

Sounds like caramel, but yuckier!

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Okay, advertising team, we seem to be striking out with our new client, that guy who wants to make a big splash with camel milk products – camel milk coffee, chocolates, what have you.

As far as naming his chain of stores, we proposed Dromedary Queen, but he decided he liked Camel-Lot.

Tora! Tora! Tora! Toro? Toro? Toro?

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Blog guy, you’ve had a lot of photos lately of Spanish bullfighters getting tossed around and trampled. So like, is there any chance they’ll run out of them soon?

That would be nice, but I’m afraid not. See, they’re importing them from Asia now.

I’m off to run with the elephants, Mom…

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Blog Guy, I don’t like where my life is headed lately and I need to make some changes. Where can I get insight into other lifestyles?

The best place is the lifestyle section of our online video clips.

For instance, the top item there now shows elephants rampaging through a tea estate in India.

I want more angst, Babu! Action!

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Blog Guy, I just got back from a trip to Europe and I have to complain about the border security guys who examined our luggage. What idiots! I mean, a baboon could do a better job!

It’s funny you should mention that. Over in England, they’re training baboons to do that very task.

Goring, goring, gone…

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Blog Guy, I heard it was another rough day for the revelers at the running of the bulls.

You bet. Despite the fact that a bunch of runners had already been injured at the Animal Cruelty Festival in Pamplona, one of them fatally, they were off and running again yesterday, with other serious injuries.

You know what would be really, really embarrassing?

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Blog Guy, I’ve been following your coverage of that San Fermin festival over there in Pamplona. So who’s winning?

Sadly the bulls always lose in the end, but I must say they’ve had a pretty good couple of days. In a four-minute running of the bulls today, several people were injured and one runner was killed.