Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Yo Blog Guy? You know how you crowned a new Queen of the Entire World about a month ago? Is she still the Queen?
Of course. She has done a wonderful job, considering virtually nothing is expected of her. Why do you ask?
Because I’ve been reading the works of Nostradamus, that 16th century seer who could predict the future, and according to him, there will be a new Queen of the Entire World.
Oh yeah? And just where are we supposed to find this new so-called Queen.
Nostradamus says she will be found “a little west of Budapest.”
Did he give any other clues?
Yes. She will be wearing “a very tight gold lamé swimsuit with a big zipper and gold stilettos with ankle straps.”
Quick quiz: Down in Bolivia, the ruling party has proposed a new Labor Code that would give workers a bonus for…
a) exceeding their sales quota
b) working on weekends
c) showing up for work early
d) showing up for work on time
Yeah, I missed this one, too. It turns out, the bonus would be for getting their butts to work ON TIME every day. That’s it.
Boy, am I pissed!
According to a Reuters story, some guy is going to step out of a capsule lifted 120,000 feet by a balloon and leap to Earth, becoming the first man to break the sound barrier without an aircraft.
Why the heck didn’t I think of that?
So now THIS guy gets to have the fun of plummeting so fast he won’t be able to hear himself scream, because his own shriek will just follow along behind him.
Regular readers of this blog know that we have taken on the heavy responsibility of pointing out signs of the coming Apocalypse.
We do this as a public service. Why should you pre-pay for a vacation for a date when life as we know it will no longer exist?
Blog Guy, you’ve written a lot in past years about your Christmas spirit and holiday mood, and this year I feel the same! Merry Christmas! What a joyous season! Eh?
Oh, I don’t know…
What are you talking about? It’s your favorite time of year! I thought nothing could dampen your spirit!
Blog Guy, you must be familiar with the works of the prophetic writer Nostradamus. What was the three-word phrase which he predicted would trigger the end of life as we know it?
You know very well what the phrase is.
Yeah, but I want to see it in your blog.
Fine. It’s “turd-shaped balloon.” Are you happy?
The only reason I’m willing to use it is that it showed up in a photo caption this week, so the cosmic chain of events has now begun. We are told in this actual caption that folks in a protest march are carrying a “turd-shaped balloon.”
When people have to be told not to do something that is obviously extremely stupid – like texting while driving, for instance – it’s a definite sign of the approaching Apocalypse.
And when you even have to make LAWS against the really stupid stuff, like banning folks from watching TV while they drive, that’s an even more threatening sign.
“Versace and Gucci…started their shows with men dressed in white or pale creams. Versace also showed comfort with unbuttoned tunics and safari-like jackets…”
– Reuters story from Milan Fashion Week
Blog Guy, I know you write a lot about haute couture. Where do the big designers get ideas for their creations?