Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

It’s only art, what’s the worst that can happen?

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Here’s an actual true news item. Unionized art handlers have been picketing outside Sotheby’s after the auction house locked them out following a drawn-out contract dispute.

With the big fall auction season just a month away, the art handlers have been replaced by temps. Not surprisingly, the union says the temporary workers have had inferior training.

* * * * * *

Hey pal, you must be the new poorly trained temporary handler of priceless art, right?

Yeah, you can call me Lamar. Put ‘er there… Oops, well that vase was probably chipped anyway, right?

Souvenirs: Selling Kate by the crate?

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Blog Guy, I see they’re churning out all kinds of memorabilia in advance of Britain’s royal wedding next month.

kate face 280I’ll bet it will really sell, considering Kate Middleton is so popular and beautiful. Have any artists done an especially unusual job of capturing the charms of this lovely young woman?

Earn a hundred million dollars at home

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BRITAIN/

Johnson, get your butt into my office! You call yourself a news photographer?

What did I do wrong now, Boss?

I sent you out to take a picture of a hundred million-dollar Gaugin painting and there’s a woman in the shot!

gaugin 340She’s my girlfriend. She likes to be in news photos, and let’s face it. Without her, it’s just a bunch of dead flowers.

Quit Stalin, and show us the house!

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HUNGARY/

Blog Guy, your readers have grown very fond of Lamar, who shows up in this blog frequently. I know he’s never photographed, but maybe we could get some kind of behind-the-scenes look at his lifestyle or whatever. He has a lot of fans out here.

HUNGARY/Sure. Maybe you’d enjoy a tour of his elegant home. Welcome to Lamar’s living room…

We NEED three more naked chicks?

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Somebody please help me out here.

FRANCE-LOUVRE/We have a story about how the Louvre, which is this really big museum in Paris, is asking the public to help raise the cash to buy it a 16th century painting deemed a “national treasure” by art experts.

The Louvre has scraped together $4.19 million for “The Three Graces,” an oil painting by German artist Lucas Cranach the Elder, but they still need another $1.35 million.

Mind your manors, Blog Guy…

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Blog Guy, I am enthralled by a little bit of history I stumbled upon in a Reuters story. Are you familiar with a royal palace built by King Henry VIII in the 1500s and named Nonsuch, because no other palace could match its splendor?

PLAYBOYThe story says a 16th century watercolor of Nonsuch, one of the very few detailed depictions known to exist, is expected to fetch nearly $2 million. Anything that sheds some light on the palace is worth a fortune.

We’re the First Ladies, we’ll be here all week!

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michelle impression 300Blog Guy, you’re a Washington DC insider, so maybe you can clear up something for me. It sounds nutty, but I heard that many of our first ladies have professional lounge acts.

That’s true. Michelle Obama, for example, does a standing-room-only show called, “That Guy on the One-Dollar Bill.”

A museum for the well-red?

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Blog Guy, I need some of that expert travel advice that put this blog on the map.

BRITAIN/I’m planning a trip to Britain, over there in England or wherever it is, and I want to make sure I see everything! At the top of my list is the world-famous British Museum.

If the shoe fits, hang it…

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Blog Guy, I’m a woman in need of advice. I spend 82 percent of my income on new shoes, so naturally the old ones pile up quickly. I hate to just throw out all my pumps. How can I put them to good use?

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Many women put their old shoes in picture frames and hang them on the wall. It’s very colorful. This one is in an actual art museum.

One picture is worth two or three words…

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AUSTRIA/

Johnson, get your butt in my office! You call yourself a news photographer?

What is it this time, Boss?

I sent you out to get a simple headshot of someone and here is your full, uncropped photo… I’m not making this up.

See, in journalism, headshot refers to the WHOLE head. Your photo makes her look like one of those “Kilroy Was Here” cartoons American soldiers used to draw.