Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

High-caliber artistes needed…

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Blog Guy, I need some career advice, and you’re the expert.  I’m artistic, and people say I have a good eye for design. I would enjoy working in developing countries.

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Have you thought about the exciting field of confiscation design?

No. I don’t know what that is.

See, in places where officials confiscate a lot of guns and ammo from drug cartels, militants, etc., somebody has to arrange the stuff artistically for photographers.

Compare these two photos above. You wouldn’t look twice at that crapfest on the left. But now look at the work of art next to it, where the ammo is appealingly arranged. This is how you get good media coverage.

INDIA/Where do I get the materials to practice with?

From a magazine. I can send you a clip.

Magazine? Clip? Oh, I get it. Do you think I should join a design firm that does ammo arranging?

You gonna eat that Whopper, Judas?

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I just love this story. These guys analyzed 52 paintings of “The Last Supper,” done over a period of 1,000 years, and they found the size of the main meal depicted has grown progressively by 69 percent.

supper vertical combo 260They say this suggests that the phenomenon of serving bigger portions on bigger plates has also occurred gradually over the same time period.

Who wants a plush vacation?

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Blog Guy, I heard there is a special travel agency that will show your stuffed animal a good time. Now that I’m grown up, I think my dear childhood companion, Mister Bubba, deserves a nice vacation.

CZECH-PLUSHTOYS/TOURISM

You’re talking about the Toy Travel agency, in Prague. As you can see in these photos, you send them your stuffed toy, and they shoot it with iconic backdrops such as Prague Castle, the Charles Bridge…

Sometimes when we touch, the honesty’s too much…

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, may I introduce a serious topic here please?

I wish you wouldn’t. This is supposed to be a humor blog, even if that isn’t always obvious.

BRITAIN/Thanks. I know you love animals. Our pet polar bear has been despondent lately. You know, moody, depressed. His penguin friends who come over seem the same way. Maybe it has to do with that global warming thing.

How well I remember that morning or afternoon…

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catcher jacket 220I suppose I’m doing the same thing a lot of journalists are doing today, dusting off  my J.D. Salinger interview.

When I went knocking on his door to chat with him so many years ago, he told me what he told everybody else: “Bob, I’ll talk to you, but you can only write about it when I’m gone.”

Does this make me look super, or just fat?

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Good morning, It’s my first time here in your shop. I’m a super-heroine, and I need an outfit.

Well, welcome to Super-Chicks R Us. What’s your chick’s shtick?

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I’m flexible. I was  hoping you could help me choose.

Off  the-rack? Sure. You could be Utensil Hair Woman, or Leggy Seductress Secret Police Girl. Or maybe Perfect Posture Woman?

I don’t remember HER from the revolution!

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CHINA/

Comrade Johnson, thank you for coming in. We have just a few questions before we renew your license to paint revolutionary Communist heroes.

We’ve dropped by your workshop, and most of your portraits are very nice. Good job on Deng and Mao. Very inspiring…