We have some photos of President Barack Obama speaking at a middle school, where a member of the audience has the word OBAMA shaved in his hair.

Presidential haircuts are a time-honored tradition in this country, and today’s students don’t know how lucky they are to deal with a five-letter name.

Why, in my day, I didn’t think my hair would ever grow back from my John Fitzgerald Kennedy cut, which I unfortunately got a week before the assassination.

And don’t even get my grampa started on his President Franklin Delano Roosevelt haircut. Suffice it to say the last three letters actually had to be carved into his cheek, and never went away.

And speakin’ of the old days, did I ever tell you kids about the time….

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A student with an “Obama” haircut at Wright Middle School in Madison, Wisconsin, listens to U.S. President Barack Obama speak as he visits the area, November 4, 2009.   REUTERS/ Larry Downing

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“That’s how you tell it’s Joe Lefors, ’cause he always wears a white straw hat.”
- “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid”

Blog Guy, a few days ago a reader tried to tell you about the well-known White Hat Conspiracy, a plot among prominent people who wear white hats to identify themselves to each other.

You basically made fun of the person. Implied he was a goofball and a nutjob.

Well, you’ll stop laughing after you see this photo of Madonna taken this week.

Also, look at legendary boxer Jake “Raging Bull” LaMotta, including one of him with his white hat. You can’t deny a conspiracy now, can you, Blog Guy?

Oh my God, how could I have been so blind?

You’re right, of course! Because if I were involved in some kind of nefarious plot, then Madonna and Jake LaMotta are the EXACT two people I’d wanna be following!

Yep, old Jake is running the White Hat Conspiracy, as sure as Barack Obama was born in Luxembourg!

And by the way, from the look of that shirtless picture, there’s another article of clothing that Jake may wanna consider wearing. It also comes in white.

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Photos from top:  Singer Madonna in Chinkota, outside Lilongwe in Malawi, October 26, 2009. REUTERS/Siphiwe Sibeko

Boxer Jake “The Raging Bull” LaMotta tips his hat to the crowd at Madison Square Garden in New York in a 2006 file photo. REUTERS/Teddy Blackburn/Files

LaMotta poses in New York, October 28, 2009. REUTERS/Teddy Blackburn

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Oh Dear Lord, will this doofus NEVER stop talking? Blah blah Afghanistan, blah blah Afghanistan… Somebody PLEASE hit me with a ball-peen hammer!

Oooh, if I push my fist against my lower lip like this, it hurts enough to keep me awake… Good to know…

Didn’t this guy run for president and lose? Why do I have to give a fat crap what he says? Didn’t I win?

I wanna be out there doin’ the hula hoop with Michelle on the lawn… Look, she’s having a great time.

“Hey, Michelle! Come in here for a minute and listen to What’s-His-Name! He’s real interesting! Give ME that hula hoop!”

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President Barack Obama meets in the Oval Office with Senator John Kerry,  who recently returned from Afghanistan, Oct. 21, 2009. Official White House Photo by Pete Souza

First lady Michelle Obama hula hoops with kids at the White House Healthy Kids Fair on the South Lawn, October 21, 2009. REUTERS/Larry Downing

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Blog Guy, you know the neatest thing about being President? I heard they have their own movie theater at the White House. How cool is that?

It sounds a lot better than it really is. As you can see, it’s a tiny projector and only one person can watch at a time. Here, President Obama shifts impatiently as he and Michelle take turns watching “Zombieland” this week.

Wow. Did he like the movie?

Did he! That’s why he uses the phrase “Nut up or shut-up!” constantly now. His first words when the Nobel Peace Prize folks called him.

Hold your horses, Blog Guy! I’ve seen photos of people in comfy movie theater chairs at the White House!

Yes, that’s the 3-D room, but there’s no actual projector. The Obamas are just watching staffers stick still photos from Toy Story 2 3-D in their faces.

Gosh, that’s very disappointing.

Yep. And don’t even get me started on how you can’t have popcorn there because the Secret Service doesn’t like the popping sound…

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Above: The Obamas look through a telescope during an event to see the stars with local students and astronomers from across the country on the South Lawn at the White House, October 7, 2009. REUTERS/Jim Young

Below: President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama wear 3-D glasses while watching the NFL’s Super Bowl XLIII game at a Super Bowl Party in the family theater of the White House, in this handout photo taken February 1, 2009 and later released by the White House. REUTERS/Pete Souza/The White House/ Handout

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Blog Guy, it’s well known that you’re a real romantic, whose sophisticated dating advice is followed by many. Here is a couple on a date in Washington, DC. They are leaving a restaurant after a leisurely dinner. I’d like your thoughts.

The guy is a few steps behind her. Bad move. If there are muggers waiting to take her purse, he can’t do anything to stop them.

Ah, I hadn’t thought of that. What else?

He looks preoccupied. Like he’s rehearsing his lines. Probably tired old crap like she should come back and see his “big house,” his valuable paintings and antiques. Kind of pathetic.

So wait, you don’t think she knows what he does?

Nah, she was counting on meeting a doctor!

Where do you think they are, anyway?

If I had to guess, it looks like the elegant, swanky, sumptuous neighborhood they call Georgetown.

And your point there would be?

There’s no point, really. I just like saying Georgetown is elegant, swanky and sumptuous.

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President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama leave the Blue Duck Tavern in the Georgetown section of Washington after a dinner, October 3, 2009. REUTERS/Mike Theiler

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Blog Guy, I see the Dalai Lama is in Washington, DC. He gets to meet all the biggies when he travels, right?

Yes. In the combo shot below you can see him with Presidents George Bush in 2007 and Bill Clinton in 1998, and the current leaders of France, Britain and Germany. Oh, and this week with Senator John McCain, the recent Republican candidate for president.

Wait a minute. I’m not up on my current events, but McCain didn’t win, did he?

No, Barack Obama did.

So is the Dalai Lama meeting with Obama?

Um, no. But the Dalai Lama WAS honored at the U.S. Capitol for his human rights work. In choosing not to meet with the visitor, Obama was accused by some of “kowtowing to Beijing.”

I’m no wordsmith, but isn’t that what they call irony?  Any chance Obama just doesn’t know how to get to the hotel where the Dalai Lama is staying?

Nope, it’s the same place the Obamas just had dinner on Saturday night. Say, while you’re in DC, Mr. Lama, maybe you’d like to visit our famous Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop?

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Dalai Lama in cowboy hat and with nasal spray hanging from his nose. REUTERS photos

Dalai Lama with President George W. Bush, Senator John McCain, French President Nicolas Sarkozy, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, German Chancellor Angela Merkel, President Bill Clinton. REUTERS photos

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Blog Guy, I was dazzled by your official group shot of the Obama cabinet last week. Do you have any other official group photos?

Do I ever! I’m about to publish a photo book, a collection of rare historic group shots. It’s titled, “Don’t We Have Anything Better To Do Than This?”

That’s great! So you think people like those shots?

Yes. I think folks will spend countless happy hours looking at the little-bitty heads and stiff poses. This is the stuff dreams are made of.

I’m already getting goosebumps! Were there any group shots so rare you couldn’t track them down?

Only one. The legendary 1948 Santa Fe group shot of photographers who take group shots. That’s the Holy Grail.

I think you’ll have a runaway bestseller. What’s that photo in the lower right-hand corner of your combo?

That one is a mystery. Judging from the uniforms it dates from the 19th century, but that’s all I know. I sure hope nobody holds a copyright on it, or I’ll really be screwed!

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Above: REUTERS photos; upper row middle, REUTERS/Scanpix; lower row right, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band cover.

Below: Venezuela’s President Hugo Chavez pretends to take a picture during the family photo of the Unasur group summit in Bariloche, Argentina, August 28, 2009. REUTERS/Enrique Marcarian

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Blog Guy, I get ALL of my news from your blog!

You must be an interesting guest at dinner parties.

Yes, I am. So can you give us the inside scoop on the Pittsburgh G20 meeting?

Oh, you mean the Pittsburgh Prom… They just try to make it sound like a G20 meeting so people don’t complain so much about the cost.

it was really a gathering of a bunch of world leaders who love ballroom dancing, as you can see in these random news photos.

They show each other new dance steps, practice their manners and stuff like that. Sort of a debutante kind of deal.

I think that’s a big fat lie. You know why? Because NOBODY would want to dance with…

Hey! Stifle yourself! If you can’t say something nice about a world leader, then don’t say anything at all!

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Above: assorted Pittsburgh G20 shots. REUTERS photos

Lower left: France’s President Nicolas Sarkozy and U.S. President Barack Obama at the G20 Summit in Pittsburgh, September 24, 2009. REUTERS/Philippe Wojazer

Lower right: U.S. first lady Michelle Obama at an opening reception and working dinner. REUTERS/Philippe Wojazer

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“Hey look, Mr. President, It’s Muammar Gaddafi! I sure didn’t expect to see him!”

“Cripes Hillary, don’t LOOK at him! As far as we’re concerned, he’s not here!”

“Sure, he’s right over there! Muammar! How’re things back in Liberia?”

“That’s LIBYA, Hillary! STOP pointing at  him!”

“Look, Mr. President, he’s doing his origami tricks! Fold a swan for me, Muammar!”

“Jeez Hillary, this is frickin’ embarrassing!”

“Muammar! Can I have your fries?”

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President Barack Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton arrive at luncheon during the United Nations General Assembly in New York, September 23, 2009. REUTERS/Patrick Andrade

Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi pretends to rip a Charter of the United Nations and Statute of the International Court of Justice as he addresses the General Assembly in New York, September 23, 2009. REUTERS/Mike Segar

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Blog Guy, as someone who is interested in government, I’m wondering if you can find me a photo of President Barack Obama and his whole cabinet together.

Heck, I can find you an OFFICIAL one! Here is an OFFICIAL photo of Obama, Vice President Joe Biden and the whole cabinet, taken just a few days ago.

What’s the difference? I mean, what’s official about it?

Well, an UNOFFICIAL one might have some bogus characters in it, like Dick Van Dyke or Urkel or Archie and Veronica, but this one is guaranteed to be the OFFICIAL deal.

Wow! What’s it cost to produce a thing like that?

A lot. There are 23 people in the shot. Say it took an hour to shoot and they make at least DC minimum wage of $8.25 an hour, that’s $189.75, plus the photographer, and the processing down at the Rite Aid.

I think you’re looking at $240 of your tax money here, but that’s a small price to pay for something official.

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Above: President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden pose with the full Cabinet for an official group photo in the East Room of the White House on Sept. 10, 2009. White House Photo/Chuck Kennedy

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