Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, I read that President Barack Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton went to a NATO summit in Portugal. What the heck do they do at a thing like that?
The first item of business at those major international summits is to put in their lunch order.
Lunch order? That’s what they’re doing? They look confused.
Sure. Some of these lunch menus, it’s hard to tell whether any side dishes come with the entree, or if a beverage is included, or what the local word for ketchup is. And if you get the combo platter does that include your dessert, and if so is it a good one, like pie, or just some bogus foreign dessert, like flan?
Plus, is the tip included, or is this one of those countries where nobody expects a tip, and so on and so forth…
Blog Guy, recently you revealed that you work as President Barack Obama’s Junk Food Advance Dude, helping him find the best high-cholesterol foods in the country. I don’t get it. He’s the president. Can’t he order any food he wants?
Oh, he tried that, but he quickly found out most carry-out places won’t deliver to Air Force One. It’s better if he just picks the stuff up himself.
Out with it, Blog Guy. The blogosphere is abuzz over some new relationship between President Obama and your Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop.
Okay, but don’t tell anybody else. As you may recall, when he first took office Obama remained aloof from our museum.
Lamar, get in my office! Isn’t Vasquez one of your men?
Yes, SIR General Johnson! What can I do for you, SIR!
What’s his problem?
SIR! There is no problem with Vasquez that I’m aware of, SIR!
Then where’s his camera? Doesn’t he know his commander-in-chief is speaking? Why isn’t he shooting photos like everybody else?
SIR, yes SIR! I believe Vasquez is a big fan of President Obama and wanted to concentrate on what he was saying, SIR!
Blog Guy, I enjoyed your report a few days ago about President Obama eating doughnuts.
How does that work? Does he just walk along and suddenly say, “I’d really like to clog my arteries with a load o’ fried dough about now!” and then they scramble to find a bakery for him?
Blog Guy, you run the popular Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop, just a few blocks from the White House, yet President Obama doesn’t seem to give you the time of day. Why doesn’t he ever come by?
He does! He was just in here a couple days ago, stuffing his face with our glazed doughnuts. He loves them. Look, you can see Becky, our Greasy Foods Nutritionist, watching him from behind. Becky said later that…
Blog Guy, did you read about the problem with that brand-new rug in the Oval Office, with the great American quotes woven along the edge?
Yes, you’re talking about the embarrassing error over one of the quotes:
“The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice,” is attributed to Martin Luther King, Jr. on the rug, but it turns out King was quoting Theodore Parker, a 19th century abolitionist and Unitarian minister.
Blog Guy, it looks to me like those Government Death Panels you write about still aren’t popular. Is President Obama doing anything to help sell them as part of his health care reform?
Sure. I guess you haven’t seen his promotional video based on the classic kids’ movie, “Mary Poppins.”
Welcome back to our very popular TV reality series, “Let’s get Virile, Cyril!” where we randomly look in on world leaders to check their testosterone level.
Okay, let’s use our Man-Cam to zoom in on some top leaders. Shhhhhh, remember, they don’t know we’re coming.