Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Wave, dummy! The president’s going by!

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USA/

Blog Guy, I see the Obamas are vacationing in Martha’s Vineyard again this summer. Those lucky residents! They can just walk out on their porches and balconies and see Barack and Michelle. What fun!

vineyard balcony crop 300Well, yes and no. It’s more work than it was the last time Obama went to the Vineyard.

Let’s face it. He’s not as new or popular as he used to be, but the White House still wants it to look like he’s drawing the crowds.

So, folks have been ordered to have someone at every window, and balconies must have at least two people on them, no matter what.

It’s for folks who like owls, Mr. President

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Blog Guy, I’m very, very confused.

That’s nothing to be ashamed of in this blog, sir. What seems to be the problem?

hooters florida 320I saw a photo of Hooters waitresses watching President Obama last weekend. I’ve always been led to believe if the words “Hooters” and “U.S. President” ever appeared together, it would be the end of the world.

Hi, we’re the Death Panel! Is now a good time?

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CHINA/

Blog Guy, you’re the only journalist in the country who is seriously covering those Government Death Panels that Sarah Palin warned us about, which were created under health care reform. These things are evil and brutal, and I hope you get a Pulitzer for your work.

CHINA/Thanks, you’re much too kind. I do consider it a major  story. Did you have a question about the panels?

Mr. Obama, let me talk to my manager…

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obama ford this 490

Well sir, I do kind of like this car, if the price is right. What’s it gonna cost me to drive off in this today?

I’d sure like to put you behind the wheel, Mr. Obama. It’s going to depend on your credit rating.

Are you cutout to be president?

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Blog Guy, my sister went to Washington DC this summer and got her picture taken with President Obama at some event. Is that worth anything?

It all depends on the quality of the cutout. You know, did they use good cardboard, nice glossy finish, great big grin, almost real, that kind of thing.

Look who’s in the driver’s seat…

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Blog Guy, you know what I always wonder about world leaders? They must forget how to drive, what with being driven everywhere, huh?

Nah, most of them drive more than you would think, especially these days, when money is tight.

A perennial solution to security?

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Blog Guy, last month you said that in case extremists get into the White House grounds and overpower the Secret Service, the Obamas have been trained to hide behind trees and shrubs.

OBAMA/You said they even carry bundles of foliage when they cross an open area. You had a photo of Michelle Obama carrying protective bundles of herbs.

It’s Slick and Mick! What are the odds?

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SOCCER-WORLD/

Welcome back to a regular feature we like to call, “What are the chances?”

Think of the odds against you going out one day and running into Bill Clinton or Mick Jagger. I’ve never come across either of them, and yet, they go to catch a soccer match and find each other.

I can kill a man with my business card…

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Blog Guy, I love it when you give us Inside Washington stuff that nobody else knows. What’s the latest hot topic among President Obama’s inner circle?

BUSINESS cards clinton 260Oh man, it’s an ugly one! You didn’t hear this from me, but it turns out Obama expects his people to carry oversized business cards. He thinks it’s classy.

Protect the first lady, Herb!

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OBAMA/

Blog Guy, tell me some inside Washington stuff. What if extremists get into the White House grounds and overpower the Secret Service? What’s the contingency plan?

USA-OBAMA/I don’t think I should make that public.

Come on, just between us. Nobody reads this blog in the summer, anyway. I bet the plan involves jet packs and hidden trap doors….