Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

From the design house to the outhouse…

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porta fashion models 490

Lamar, now that our fashion show is underway, please tell me you managed to keep costs down. I hope you didn’t throw away a lot of money on extravagances and luxury doodads.

porta fashion 240We’re on the same page, Boss. I didn’t even rent an expensive backstage dressing room this time. Look out there, our models will just change outfits onstage.

What? In front of the audience? Who wants to see that?

Not to worry, Boss, I rented five Porta-Johns as on-stage changing rooms. They were dirt cheap, though I did have to pay a little for permission to dig holes in the stage.

Yikes! I hope you know what  you’re doing, Lamar. Speaking of which, where’s our men’s room? It’s time for my daily constitutional, and I’ve got my sports section right here.

Did you gals get enough coffee?

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FASHION/

Lamar, get in my office, right now! You’re the one who arranged for the dressing room and backstage facilities for the models here at the fashion show, right?

model georgia face 220That’s right, Boss. You think I went overboard?

What amenities did you order?

Jeez, I’ll have to look at my copy of the contract, Boss. Let’s see. A mirror, a table, a metal chair, a fancy, deluxe, top-of-the-line coat rack, a splintered plank floor….

Imagine there’s no toilet, it’s easy if you try…

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Blog Guy, the last sign of the approaching Apocalypse you told us about was singer Justin Bieber publishing his memoirs, but I believe there was another one this week that you overlooked.

BRITAIN-LENNON/Those of us sitting out here waiting for the End of the World count on your blog for timely telltale signs.

Putting the pee back in Presley?

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elvis bathrooms 1 490

Blog Guy, you’ve written a lot about toilet facilities overseas, a topic of great interest to Americans planning to travel. Anything else we should be on the lookout for in foreign lands?

PHILIPPINES/Yes. Some tourists may be surprised at the large number of places offering THREE kinds of restrooms instead of just two.

Toilet timer to eliminate waste?

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Now and then an idea comes along that is so bad, it deserves a place in the Bad Idea Hall of Fame. Maybe you remember such brainstorms as the hotel bed-warming service, the “marriage hunting bra,” the plan to get civil servants to mingle with the public

AFGHANISTAN/

But I digress. From the UK comes news that  workers in an office have been given a 10-minute limit in the toilet. A hidden sensor switches off the toilet light when their time is finished, even if they aren’t.

Facilities for the fancy people

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USA/Blog Guy, I read with interest your post about cities to avoid because their public restrooms are so bad.

What bothers me is, in the picture you used, those were just regular folks lining up to use that one toilet in Paris.

Now, THAT’S what I call a public toilet!

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FRANCE/

Blog Guy, you did a great blog item about how to find public toilet facilities when we’re traveling overseas. As you know, this is very important to Americans.

toilet and water crop 200I wonder if you can elaborate a bit and identify any cities we should avoid because of bad bathrooms.

Mom and Dad, the Beautiful People?

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I should warn you, I’m kind of emotional today. See, I’m adopted, and I just got a report from a private detective who has tracked down my biological parents after all these years. You can imagine my feelings as I read it.

Hmmm. It says BOTH of my parents were models, which might explain my interest in fashion.

Send in a SQUAT Team….

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INDONESIA-POLITICS/

Blog Guy, you mentioned recently that when Americans travel abroad, the main thing we’re concerned about is whether the toilets will be suitable for our needs. I suspect you’re right. I’m going overseas on a trip with my friends, but I’m a little concerned about how to spot the facilities.

portajons 280I can help you. As you can see here, public Porta-Johns in other countries are often marked with a distinctive yellow POLISI, which I guess means GENTS.

Carnival: if you go, don’t plan to go

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Not to seem indelicate, but I guess it’s human nature to worry about having ample places to go to the bathroom. I suspect that if somebody came back to life after having seen the afterlife, our first question would be, “Are there enough toilets over there?”

BRAZIL/

Indeed, travel surveys have found that among Americans planning to go abroad, their number one and number two concerns are, well, number one and number two.