Hold it right there, Blog Guy! I’m calling you out on something! Yesterday, you had a supposed beauty pageant shot where the contestants were all standing in front of a faraway building. Was that the ONLY picture you had from that event?

No, of course not. In addition to the So Far Away They Look Like Ants photo, we did cover the other portions of that pageant. Have a look:

• Contestants stand akimbo in a dimly-lit interrogation room
• Contestant inspects empty office space
• Contestants jammed into Over-Capacity Glass Elevators smile as they hurtle to certain death

There, does that answer your concerns?

No, I’m also concerned you used the word akimbo in a blog where we’re never supposed to learn anything.

Well then, whatever you do, don’t click on it.

Miss Sevilla slideshow

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Top left: Contestants of the Miss Sevilla pageant wearing traditional Sevillana dresses wait backstage before a presentation in Seville, Spain, November 24, 2009.

Top right: A contestant of the Miss Sevilla pageant wearing a traditional Sevillana dress walks during a presentation.

Contestants of the Miss Sevilla pageant wearing traditional Sevillana dresses stand in elevators during a presentation.

REUTERS photos by Marcelo del Pozo

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, I’m back again. It’s me, the aspiring photojournalist you’ve been mentoring.

How do you keep finding me? I’ve had my death notice put in several newspapers!

DNA doesn’t lie. Anyhow, I was assigned to shoot a beauty pageant in Spain, and I wanted you to critique my photo.

Hmmmm. The pageant was in Spain, but where were you?

Morocco. I used a very long lens.

Here’s a tip. It works better if you’re in the same country as the contestants. All I see here is a building with some balconies, with shrubbery on the ground floor.

Those are the women! In swimsuits. Between the shrubs.

Let me ask a question. Why didn’t you get back even further away from the women?

Because then I would have been in Algeria. That would be stupid!

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Contestants in the Miss Sevilla pageant pose during a presentation in the Andalusian capital of Seville November 17, 2009. REUTERS/Marcelo del Pozo

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Readers know that while I often blog about stupid fashions, all I want to do is laugh at them. If you actually come here to LEARN something about fashion, boy are you in the wrong place.

Where you should probably be instead is at “Daddy Likey,” by a blogger named Winona Dimeo-Ediger, who is informative AND cracks me up.

You have to admire a fashion author/blogger who says, “My life’s dream is to be a train conductor. Mostly for the hat.”

Now, in addition to Winona’s blog  you can buy her new brand-new book, “Closet Confidential.” It’s very funny and offers all you need to know if you want to dress like a chick, or even if, like me, you don’t,

I sent Winona a couple of genuine fashion photos, below, as sort of a test of her taste, and here is her response:

Left: Designers this season warned models to stay home if they showed symptoms of the H1N1 virus, but apparently the Black Death is not a problem.

Right: Kathie Lee Gifford’s new collection for Wal-Mart, Sassy Arabian Pocahontas Sportswear, has been called “a bit muddled” by the fashion press…

Interestingly enough, it turns out Winona herself owns the exact outfit on the right, and often wears it for days at a time. I guess nobody’s perfect.

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Left: Model presents a creation by British designer Vivienne Westwood at the Fashionable Istanbul show in Istanbul, October 25, 2009. REUTERS/Murad Sezer

Right: Model presents a creation by Ukrainian designer Natali Bolgar during Moscow Fashion Week, October 25, 2009. REUTERS/ Alexander Natruskin

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Well fashion fans, it won’t be long now. It’s the evening of the big Victoria’s Secret annual holiday fashion show. I mean, most of YOU won’t see it today, because it won’t be aired for a couple of weeks, but we’ll have lots of still photos for you and if you flip through them real fast, it’s just like being there.

Meanwhile, the models have to finish getting prepared for the show.

Here, one of them is seen loading up on the six and a half calories she gets every day. I can’t quite tell what this slop is, but it’s not fried onion rings and doughnuts, I’ll tell you that.

If you look at the bottom edge of her plate, it looks as though she has scooted some kind of bean away from the rest of the food. No telling what kind of damage a bean can do.

Or maybe it’s just that she can’t quite lift it to her mouth.

Come back tomorrow, for full coverage.

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Model Caroline Winberg eats backstage at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in New York November 19, 2009. REUTERS/Carlo Allegri

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, is it true that New York City has been invaded by Amazonian Queens from another planet?

Yes. We have photos of them. It appears they have never seen Earthlings before.

How tall are they?

About nine feet, wearing 10-inch stilettos.

Gosh, what’s your take on them?

I’m afraid. Very afraid. Sure, judging from the photos they seem easily amused, but they are capable of hiding their deeper thoughts behind vapid facades.

Rumors are spreading rapidly that they plan to take 100 human males back to their planet to breed with them.

Yikes! That must be causing mass panic and chaos in New York!

For sure. The line for volunteers already goes from Times Square up to The Bronx, and it’s expected to reach Boston by tonight.

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Above: A tourist poses next to Victoria’s Secret models following their appearance in New York’s Times Square to celebrate the return of the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show to New York, November 18, 2009.

Middle: Victoria’s Secret models Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (L) and Izabel Goulart (R) pose in Times Square.

Below: Victoria’s Secret model Behati Prinsoloo poses in Times Square.

REUTERS photos by Brendan McDermid

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Okay fashion staff, welcome to the future. This is our first test of a bold and radical new process for designing women’s clothing.

As you know, we fed tons of raw data about MEN into a massive new software program, and told the computer to design the perfect creation to appeal to the largest possible number of males.

We fed in detailed data on age, income, location, politics, religion, marital status, hobbies, personal values - you name it - and then punched the big red “CREATE” button.

After three crashes and reboots, here’s the first thing the computer gave us: a trashy-looking floozy with a cheap bleach job, wearing a short dress with several hundred beer bottles hanging from it.

YES! The rest is history - we’ve pre-sold 20 million of these dresses through this blog, and we haven’t even started making them yet! Is life great, or what?

Lamar, how are you coming with the prototype of that second item, the Swiss Cheese and Lunch Meat Blouse?

Go for the bronze! Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

A model presents a creation by Portuguese designer Vitor during the Lisbon Fashion Week in Cascais October 10, 2009. Reuters/Hugo Correia

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, my girlfriend gave me a gift certificate for my birthday, and I’m treating myself to some nice new duds. I wanna be right up there with the latest fashions. What should I get?

That’s simple. Shop around for a nice shirt, and then don’t buy it and don’t wear it. Just go out shirtless.

No shirt? You don’t understand. My neighborhood Applebee’s won’t let me through the door without a shirt.

They’ll have to. Just show them this picture from a fashion show a couple of days ago. It’s 2009, baby! If you’re wearing trousers and shoes, that’s enough.

Amazing. And the chicks are okay with this look?

Well, they don’t seem too upset in this runway photo. Look, one woman has actually lost her mind and started to clap, like she’s at some fricking Chippendales revue. She seems a little too easy to entertain, if you ask me.

Pass the ketchup and  Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

A model takes to the catwalk wearing a creation by Pakistani designer Tayyab Bombal during Fashion Pakistan Week in Karachi on November 7, 2009. REUTERS/Adrees Latif

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Here you go, Bob, a nice martini. Very dry, three olives, just how you like it.

What do yo think of the house? Yeah, I love these huge old Gothic places. You found the bathroom okay?

What? You went UPSTAIRS? No, that’s fine, but… Look Bob, did you notice a large reinforced metal door with four deadbolts on it?

Ka-thump…ka-thump…ka-thump…ka-thump…

Uh-oh. Bob, this is real important. You didn’t undo those bolts, did you?

Ka-thump…ka-thump…ka-thump…ka-thump…ka-thump…ka-thump…ka-thump…ka-thump…

Crap, Bob, I think you let my sister Hulga get loose.

I hear her scepter on the back stairway. Don’t even breathe, Bob. She can smell fear. I’ll get the tranquilizer gun.

That’s her! She isn’t like us, Bob. Obviously, she’s from Belgium!

Go for the big thrills. Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

A model presents a creation by Chinese designer Mao Geping during China Fashion Week in Beijing, November 5, 2009. REUTERS/Grace Liang

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Well, it’s that time again, Miss Anderson. Gotta get the winter wardrobe in shape, ready or not, eh? That’s when it’s good to have a great tailor like you…

This is my favorite outfit. I put on a couple of pounds over the summer, but I don’t think it shows, do you?

Be honest, do you think this red jacket is a little too snug? Good, I don’t either! I just won’t fasten every single button.

Now for these trousers. Looks like the giant moths got to ‘em up in the attic, I’m afraid. Is it obvious there’s a whole leg missing?

Fudge! What can we do about that so people won’t notice it?

I’ve got it! Can you make me a white legging thingy to wear, and print JEALOUSY in big black letters? That’ll be perfect!

Oh, and Mrs. Anderson, I found this bunch of old knitting needles up in the attic, too. I hate to throw them away. See if you can make ‘em part of the outfit somehow, okay?

Holiday parties, here I come!

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

A model displays a creation by designer Elena Sukhodoeva during an international avant-garde fashion contest at the University of Technology and Design in St.Petersburg, November 5, 2009. REUTERS/Alexander Demianchuk

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Good morning, Mr. Johnson! Thank you for choosing to fly with us to Milwaukee today, with stops in Knoxville and Fargo.

May I see some photo ID, Mr. Johnson? Hmmm. Well, I guess that’s close enough.

Did you pack all your own luggage today, Mr. Johnson? Did anyone give you anything suspicious? Nope? Great!

Okey-dokey. I’m gonna give you an aisle seat because this is a small plane, and well, other passengers might beat you to death in a window seat.

What line of work are you in? Selling homemade lunch meat door-to-door, huh? Well, folks are always gonna need lunchmeat, right?

Here’s your boarding pass, and you have a good one! Is that Mrs. Johnson I see coming this way? Oh, just call it a hunch….

Be average! Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Left: A model displays a creation by designer Ekaterina Krivosheina during an international avantgarde fashion contest at the University of Technology and Design in St. Petersburg, Russia, November 5, 2009.

Right: A model displays a creation by designer Elena Sukhodoeva during the St. Petersburg show.

REUTERS photos by Alexander Demianchuk

More stuff from Oddly Enough