Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

A post-Thanksgiving image booster

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Blog Guy, I’m afraid I really pigged out yesterday at Thanksgiving, but I understand a few extra pounds are considered attractive these days.

Can you please find recent photos of some of the beautiful people who have let themselves go, so your readers can feel better about themselves after Turkey Day?

You betcha. Here at the top is a shot of Spain’s crown princess this week, and you can see her extra weight doesn’t seem to be slowing her down any.

Are you crazy, Blog Guy? She looks like a skeleton! They should be force-feeding her this very minute! Go back to your photo file and look again, and this time find a voluptuous, zaftig fashion model. Let’s see some curves!

Get whiter teeth, with twice the pain

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Blog Guy, I read about a place in France that has made great strides in whitening teeth. Can you tell me more?

You’re in luck. I don’t actually read French, but then again I can make up stuff from looking at photos no matter where they were taken.

Looking for love? Raise the bar higher!

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Blog Guy, I know you are very good at beauty tips. I’m a young woman who would like to meet some guys, and I wonder what I’m doing wrong.

First, you need to figure out the angle that makes your best first impression. Left side, right side, upside-down, whatever. Then, you should…

Cocktails with Miss Universe, sir?

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Blog Guy, I don’t see how you can cover Miss Universe year after year. It’s so boring, it never changes!

That’s where you’re wrong. Compared with the old days, the modern pageant is much more complex and demanding.

Why is our waitress twirling a baton?

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Blog Guy, I love going out to restaurants, but I enjoy being surrounded by beautiful women. I find standards are falling in that area lately.

You don’t sound like a terribly evolved person.

No, I’m as shallow as they come. So is there someplace I can go where my sensitivities won’t be offended?

Reading in bed just got a lot better…

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Okay Lamar, your memo said you’ve come up with a  totally new fashion concept in women’s apparel. I’m very excited, so show me what you’ve got.

Okay, Boss!  Presenting, ta-da, The Linger-Read!

The what?

It’s lingerie that you can read, Boss. So if you get bored with your partner, you can at least read what she’s wearing for entertainment.

A skeleton crew of bikini models?

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Ah, this is the life, right Lamar? Fashion Week in Brazil, where the women are gorgeous and shapely and we can really show off our most daring bikinis.

I hope you’ve gone all-out to get us some great-looking… OMG! What do you call THAT?

Great legs, nice calves…

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Blog Guy, I have a huge complaint.

I started reading your blog for your great coverage of German farming news, but here lately you’ve written very little about it.

You’re about to lose me and many of my friends, who are also German farming enthusiasts.

She flew in on Hair Force One?

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Come on into Air Force One, sir. You’re the new hairdresser here to style the first lady’s hair for the big trip?

Yes, I am. I must admit I was a little surprised to be called in for such a big job.

I’ve got your back, Renee…

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Hey Blog Guy, can you please settle a bet with my haberdasher’s fishmonger?

Oh sure, even when I’m on vacation, which I am now, I’m always happy to take time out to settle bets with folks from randomly obscure professions.

Great, thanks! So we were wondering, who has the most deformed back in the history of entertainment?