Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Thongs for throngs are flinging prongs?

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As you may have read, a woman is suing Victoria’s Secret because she says she was hurt by her thong panties when a metal clip holding a rhinestone flew off and hit her in the eye.

victoria-2-180.jpgPersonal injury is a very serious thing. Still, if this comes to trial she’s probably going to have to show how it happened in court. I can see lawyers, jurors and the judge all wearing industrial goggles to protect their eyes while the woman pulls on thongs every which way, trying to duplicate the sharp zing of flying rhinestones.

As a dedicated consumer advocate, I’ve tested odd claims before. You may recall Help me, I’m in a grape jam! If something bad happens, please explain to my family why I was found in a room full of extra large thongs, the walls pock-marked with staples and shards of imitation gems. They’ll want to know what happened.

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Model presents winged angel lingerie by Victoria’s Secret in 2000 file photo. REUTER/Fred Prouser

It’s like the Cartwrights, only different!

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hef-1-180.jpgOkay Hef, we get it. You can always scrounge up these three chicks to bring to big events, like this Hollywood thing yesterday.

Indeed, as you can see from the combo shot below going back three years, it’s the same smiles, just different dresses. They show up everywhere, sort of like on Bonanza if Pa Cartwright had daughters instead of sons. When I see these photos, I always have the same questions:

Take your stylist to the cleaners!

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hair-nest-200.jpgWelcome to a feature we call “Can I sue my freaking hairdresser?” Folks send us photos of God-awful hair, and we give legal advice.

We’re getting queries from soccer fans who went too far for Euro 2008. Sports-related bad haircuts are always thrown out, so these three below are out of luck. Oh, my mistake - the lady with red hair turns out to be an actual model, at a Hair Expo, so she can sue and will win big.

Remember to feed the fish, dear!

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beautyworld-hand-120.jpgWe’re back again at Beautyworld Japan, the same event that brought us the Pink Bedpan Necklace yesterday, because we wanted to see if they had anything more ridiculous than that to offer. And guess what?

“Okay, Mr. Sherman, loosen up. We’re just gonna jam your face underwater in this aquarium and let these little bitty piranha babies nibble your skin. They’ll cleanse your face and, you know, maybe expose a little skull.

You got a bedpan on your neck!

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beautyworld-crop-120.jpgIf you’re like me, you figure this is a Number Six Cylon being resurrected on Battlestar Galactica. But no, turns out it’s actually a photo from a beauty show underway in Japan.

Our caption calls this “carbonate skin care equipment.” Since I don’t know what that is, I’m guessing this gizmo sucks your old face out through the hose and shoots a new face back up the same tube. Thummp! That’s the sound of your old sucked face, heading down the toilet!

Isn’t there a James Bond movie like this?

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Ladies, how often have you said to yourselves, “Boy would I love to look more like a figure in an 18th century Russian religious icon!” Now, thanks to a new way of showing that you have way too much money, you can do just that.

At the Beautyworld trade show this week in Japan, they demonstrated 24-carat gold facial treatments. But some consumer warnings are in order:

Join the club? This could get ugly…

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sign.jpgSomething is getting lost in translation here.

One of our photographers took a bunch of pictures of the ‘Ugly Club’ in the town of Piobbico, Italy.

The club, with links to the town that go back to 1879, was re-launched 40 years ago as a marriage agency for the town’s single women who felt they couldn’t find husbands because they were ugly. This sign reads in Italian, “Ugliness is a virtue, beauty is slavery.”

And you want $70 for this, huh?

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It must be a sign of some kind when society reaches a point where you hear about something new, only you can’t tell whether it’s a) a diabolical torture scene from a new horror movie, or b) something you actually pay somebody to do to you for pleasure.

Welcome to a spa where you lie down on your stomach and they put snakes on your back to slither around and “massage” you. Whoa, not so fast, first you have to take off your shirt…

Plastic surgery: the lid is off…

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The time may come when getting 40 lashes isn’t just for pirates anymore. According to people in Los Angeles, where every beauty fad starts, the next big thing is eyelash transplant surgery.  Yes.

Using procedures pioneered by the hair loss industry for balding men, surgeons are using “plug and sew” techniques to give women long, sweeping lashes once achieved only by glued on extensions and thick lmascara.  lash300.jpg