Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Lamar, our fashion show is about to start. Did you find us a fresh supply of affordable runway models?
Human genetic mutations? Ewwwww, Lamar! What’s wrong with them? How bad is it?
Are you familiar with the cruel expression “four eyes,” Boss?
Whew. That’s a relief. Yes, Lamar, and I don’t mind having models who wear glasses.
Lonnie, what were we thinking? I KNEW we shouldn’t have booked a fashion show in Mexico, what with the drug wars, the gang hits, the brazen shootouts all over the place!
It’ll be fine, Boss. Some of the models want to wear Kevlar vests on the runway, but those are pretty fashionable these days.
Blog Guy, what happened? You kind of left us hanging. You were about to crown a new Queen of the Entire World a couple of weeks ago, and it was down to two candidates.
Remember? One was in a giant feathered headdress and the other was just back from the longest Ash Wednesday service in history.
Okay Lamar, we’re back to doing our fashion shows on the cheap, since we blew all that money on supermodels last week.
So, did you find a way to save us money on models for today’s show?
I sure did, Boss. I hired girls with real bad attitude.
They gave me a long list of stuff they won’t do.
Like smile. Or show any personality. Or wear red lipstick.
Well, just as long as they can walk to the end of the runway and turn around, I’ll be satisfied.
Lamar! Get your butt into my office!
What is it THIS time, Boss?
What is the deal with those models out there in today’s fashion show? Their faces are all bright red!
But Boss! Your memo said specifically you wanted redheads, so I replaced the lights in the dressing room mirrors with tanning lamps. I thought it worked out pretty well.
What we need is a group of women who will make their own outfits, do their own hair and makeup, and strut the runway, all for free.
Blog Guy, I need some of your famous career advice. I want to find a job.
What’s been holding you back, if I might ask?
Well, I’ve had a run of bad luck that left me pretty skinny. First, I fell asleep on the liposuction machine and it ran all night, and then I got a tapeworm….
Gosh. I suppose maybe you could…
I’m not finished with my sad story. Then I got lost in a cave for six weeks without any food. When I finally got out, I was rescued by a weight loss club.
“Michael, hold still so I can see myself in your fancy sunglasses. Do I have something between my teeth? I can feel it…”
“Ewwwww, Catherine! I told you not to have that spinach quiche for breakfast! Cripes! There’s a huge chunk of green stuff hanging out of your mouth!”