Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Gather around, fashion show staff, I’ve found a new way to cut costs for the big show. It may be even better than our earlier measures, like using dead models, hiring dog groomers as stylists and raccoons to do makeup…
Now keep an open mind. You all remember that tragedy last year when they held a fashion show in a steam pipe factory, and there was an explosion, and the models ended up with big sections of pipe through their heads?
These chicks will work for free, just to get back on the runway, so if we can just design outfits around them we’ll save a fortune!
Boss, those models are back complaining again.
Boy, it’s always something with them. What is it this time?
They haven’t eaten since 2006. Look at that one on the runway, with the spindly legs and her pelvis protruding through her skin…
I don’t see anybody. Oh, wait, I do see a white bag and a headscarf. Look, if they want to be fashion models, they need to weigh less than 40 pounds. Them’s the rules.
Our big cost-saving idea of hiring dog groomers to do our models’ hair helped a lot, but look at what we’re spending on lipstick! We can’t keep buying makeup this way!
What? Yes Judy, I guess you COULD say the lipstick problem has us “going down the tubes,” if you want to be really lame about it…
Blog Guy, you’re an expert on police operations around the world, right?
So I was wondering, what are the very best and very worst police departments? I’m counting on you.
The worst may be these police in Mumbai.
Check out this photo. Looks like all of them are groping for bullets while balancing their rifles between their knees, with the barrels pointed up towards their faces.
Blog Guy, I’m planning my wedding, and I need your advice. My four bridesmaids are very pretty, and I don’t want them to outshine me at my own event.
Don’t take this the wrong way, but you seem like kind of a bitch.
Hey, thanks! So how can I make sure I’m the brightest star on my special day?
Blog Guy, I’m curious about the psychology of fashion models. Do they just wear anything they’re given, or do they have strong personal feelings about the creations?
That is a very astute question. Usually, a model wears any piece of rancid garbage some nutjob designer wraps around her wispy body.
Wait. You think I’m just acting?
You seem to be all talk and no action. Are you actually DOING anything to make things better?
Despite my sacred vow that you will never learn anything from my blog, when you found out here that actress Megan Fox has a quote from “King Lear” tattooed on her back, you made it the most popular post of the month!
All’s I can figure is, all you crazy Shakespeare lovers wanted to memorize the full quote!
It’s time to release this blog’s five most popular posts for August, and it underscores that every month I learn something new about my readers’ interests.
For instance, from the wildly popular item illustrated by this photo on the left, I learned that readers of this blog are very curious about special warfare in South Korea.