Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, you’ve set up amazing fantasy photos for readers, and now it’s my turn. It won’t be easy. I want Miss Universe and Miss USA together, on top of a skyscraper.
I think I can manage that.
Cripes, that’s tough. Beauty queens won’t go CLOSE to tempting desserts!
That’s your problem, Blog Guy. That’s why you make the medium-size bucks. One more little thing. I want them using a futuristic death ray, incinerating people for fun.
You want them smiling and shooting folks with a death ray?
I’m talking mindless bliss, as they obliterate unsuspecting tourists. I don’t want to see a single thought in their heads.
Now don’t panic, readers. Appearances can be deceiving. I know it LOOKS like these folks have hooks piercing their skin, but in reality…
Oh, sorry. It turns out that IS what’s going on here.
“Bye Brenda, you have fun with your friends at the tattoo convention, and be careful!”
Okay, members of the Iceland Citizens Group, thanks for coming on such short notice. You all know the problem.
Ingibjorg Egilsdottir, Miss Iceland, is frolicking in the Bahamas before the Miss Universe Pageant, and – I’ll be very blunt – when it’s over, why in God’s name would she leave there and return to a place called Iceland?
Welcome back to our occasional feature called What Year is this Again? in which we offer up stories that may lack humor, but which cause us to question whether we have gone back in time.
Today, a couple of items make me fear yesterday’s solar eclipse may have warped us back a few centuries.
Oh my God!
Ralphie, what’s wrong?
No! Nobody uses their real picture online! What does she think YOU look like?
I may have sent her a shot of Hugh Jackman. What the hell am I going to say to her? What if the OTHER stuff she told me about herself is true, too?
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Drinking red wine by the case
Along came a spider who sat down beside her,
And said, “Let me crawl on your face!”
People who want to be on the cutting edge of fashion ask me, “Bob, what’s the next big thing after carrying around tiny chihuahuas in purses, and they seem surprised when I tell them it’s a face-full of tarantulas.
Blog Guy, my mom is turning 60 next month. My sisters and I want to give her something really special. Any ideas?
Sure. Do what many families are doing these days. Have Mom tattooed.