Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
A reader named Kelli, in Texas, writes, “Bob, I’m starting to enter serious beauty pageants, and I’m looking for something to perform in the talent portion. I was planning to twirl a baton while whistling ‘The Yellow Rose of Texas… ‘”
Take this contestant in the Miss Universe Japan competition. Either her talent is cardiopulmonary resuscitation, or else she did an actual lap dance onstage. There’s something you don’t see all the time.
I wasn’t sure this would be seen as proper, but I went to a site that tells about choosing your talent, and it said, “…anything you can perform onstage is acceptable.” If you’ve seen “Miss Saigon,” you know that doesn’t rule out very much.
Hey Blog Guy, it seems like you’re always sort of making fun of fashion models. Why don’t you just once listen to what they have to say, and learn something?
Let’s face it, the human skeleton is a sexy thing. You take a bunch of bare bones, add a bikini, and you’ve got the makings of a beauty queen, right?
Is it just me, or does anybody else notice something disturbing about these photos?
Earlier this week I did an item about a hot new fashion trend, dresses that leave one you-know-what exposed, so a woman has to cover it with her hand. I pointed out many flaws in this design, like if you’re left-handed it’s hard to take notes in algebra class and stuff like that.
But some readers were like, “Bob, that’s just one dress, it’s not a trend, so shut up.”
Okay, fashion design staff, today’s the big show. Now remember, we got these models to sign some pretty specific release forms, so let’s make sure we do this right.
All of them agreed we could have a poorly-trained chimpanzee put their lipstick on, right? Good. That’ll save us some money.
Blog Guy, we’ve all read a about how thin those haute couture models are. How do they keep themselves that way? Why aren’t they hungry?
Because they think they’re eating whatever they want.
Excuse me? How does that work?
Look at the photo below, taken backstage during Milan Fashion Week a couple of days ago. Those models are deciding what to order from the “Cheesy-Greasy Fry and Pie Pig-Out Model Menu.”