Oddly Enough Blog

Look, up in the sky, Joe!

“Jeez, Joe, what are you doing with those aviator shades? You think you’re Tom Cruise, or what? Take those things off!”

“Put a sock in it, Mr. President. I look SO cool in these babies!”

“Good Lord, Joe. Look, I’m covering my face with a hanky, so folks can’t see me laughing!”

“I’m BAD, Mr. President.”

“You’re pathetic, Joe. You look like some damn humor blogger in those things!”

“Yeah? Let’s go talk to some chicks, Mr. President. Let’s ask them what they think…”

Get out your dimes, it’s midnight!

Blog Guy, if my calendar is correct, you’ve got a major event coming up?

Yes, the celebrated Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop, here in Washington DC, is ready to launch our big new season the day after Labor Day.

I just don’t understand that. I always thought the big tourist season is in the summer.

You’ll have to ask the museum’s marketing director, Lamar. It’s something about wanting to avoid having crowds. It’s the same reason we’re only open from midnight to 6 a.m., and why the $20 admission must be paid in dimes. “Anything you can do to keep the tourists  away,” Lamar says.

But anyway, our intrepid night owl visitors, their pockets sagging with coins, will find some nice new exhibits this year, such as our glitzy tributes to actor George Clooney and Vice President Joe Biden.

That’s very cool, but it looks like your best new Goofy Face portrait acquisition is musician Neil Young. Trust me, Blog Guy, that’s a show-stopper!

Hey! You want a piece of Joe?

Blog Guy, it’s been a while since you wrote about those Government Death Panels that Sarah Palin warned us about. I suppose you’ve been frightened off the story, like the rest of the media?

No way. I’ve just been undercover, learning about the organizational structure of the panels.

Structure? The Death Panels need their own bureaucracy?

Sure, this is Washington, DC, right? Death Panels are considered an entitlement program, although most of the recipients would rather not be entitled.

So who’s in charge of them, then?

It goes all the way up to Vice President Joe Biden. He’s in Mongolia this week, learning to kill silently. I’ve seen the photos.

YEAH! IT’S ME! I’M IN THE QUIET CAR!

Blog Guy, I know you’re a Washington insider. Can you tell me what, more than anything else, President Obama respects in other people?

I mean, is it honesty, loyalty, intelligence, empathy, the ability to communicate?

Obama likes people who look cool in sunglasses.

Really? That’s it?

Yeah. After all, he carries it off pretty well himself, and he doesn’t think he should have to bother with losers who don’t.