Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

A skeleton crew of bikini models?

Photo

Ah, this is the life, right Lamar? Fashion Week in Brazil, where the women are gorgeous and shapely and we can really show off our most daring bikinis.

I hope you’ve gone all-out to get us some great-looking… OMG! What do you call THAT?

That’s our bikini model, Boss. Too fat?

Lamar, you dimwit! No woman is going to buy one of our swimsuits to try and look like that bony twig! Cripes, I’m afraid she’ll have a wardrobe malfunction when her shoulder blade cuts through the bra strap!

Don’t be so negative, Boss. Give me a couple of days of feeding her doughnuts and milkshakes nonstop, and we can bulk her up to a size zero. Trust me, she’ll be up to 70 pounds by Monday.

Maybe they’re just grimacing in pain?

Photo

bodybuilders bikinis this 490

People, we know why we’re here. Our public relations firm has been hired by a bodybuilding association to improve their image, since focus groups tend to describe bodybuilders as  freakish, grotesque, disgusting and hideous.

bodybuilder vertical this 240So. Who’s got some ideas. Lamar, you raised your hand?

Yeah Boss, I’ve got a suggestion. I think if we just got them to smile all the time while they’re onstage, people wouldn’t notice the rest of it.

Drinking in bed, in an ocean of red…

Photo

IWINE-ITALY/

Blog Guy, what happened? You kind of left us hanging. You were about to crown a new Queen of the Entire World a couple of weeks ago, and it was down to two candidates.

queen new vertical 240Remember? One was in a giant feathered headdress and the other was just back from the longest Ash Wednesday service in history.

Give us a big smile, your majesty!

Photo

TRINIDAD/

Say, Blog Guy, whatever happened to that coveted position you used to write about, the Queen of the Entire World?

queen of world vertical 240I remember you used to tell us whenever someone new got the title, but that motorcycle chick in the gold lamé swimsuit and stilettos seems to have reigned for some time now.

Count me in! Do you take plastic?

Photo

HUNGARY/

I guess I don’t get out enough. I admit there is lots of stuff I don’t understand.

HUNGARY/But please. Here we have photos from the Miss Plastic Hungary beauty pageant, an event aimed at honoring people “who have had some type of aesthetic surgery.”

Not another polish joke!

Photo

polish this 490

Get your butt in my office right now, Lamar! What’s going on out there? The fashion show starts in 30 minutes!

RUSSIA/Boss! You told me to make sure all the girls had bikini waxes. I bought a whole case of Kiwi wax and some rollers. We got oxblood, dark brown, black….

This is one REALLY goofy hobby!

Photo

bodybuilding top 490

I know it’s only November 2, but I am confident that we have found the “Euphemism of the Month” already.

The photo captions say we’re seeing these women “prepare” for an amateur bodybuilding tournament. Excuse me?

What the hell is my hand doing up here?

Photo

universe pose 490

There it is again.

USA/The lady in the photo above is Jimena Navarrete, who was crowned Miss Universe just a couple of days ago. The one on the right is another contestant, Miss Brazil.

Both of them are doing this wacky glam pose that I guess somebody thought was sexy 100 years ago, and it just never went away.

A little west of Budapest?

Photo

new queen this 490

Yo Blog Guy? You know how you crowned a new Queen of the Entire World about a month ago? Is she still the Queen?

nostradamus book 260Of course. She has done a wonderful job, considering virtually nothing is expected of her. Why do you ask?

Action hero bounces a Czech…

Photo

CZECH/

Blog Guy, you know those elaborate fantasy photos you set up for readers? It’s my turn.

Well, you know I only set them up if they’re really weird. Otherwise, they bore me. So what’s your fantasy? You have about 20 words to engage my interest…