Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Ah, this is the life, right Lamar? Fashion Week in Brazil, where the women are gorgeous and shapely and we can really show off our most daring bikinis.
That’s our bikini model, Boss. Too fat?
Lamar, you dimwit! No woman is going to buy one of our swimsuits to try and look like that bony twig! Cripes, I’m afraid she’ll have a wardrobe malfunction when her shoulder blade cuts through the bra strap!
Don’t be so negative, Boss. Give me a couple of days of feeding her doughnuts and milkshakes nonstop, and we can bulk her up to a size zero. Trust me, she’ll be up to 70 pounds by Monday.
People, we know why we’re here. Our public relations firm has been hired by a bodybuilding association to improve their image, since focus groups tend to describe bodybuilders as freakish, grotesque, disgusting and hideous.
So. Who’s got some ideas. Lamar, you raised your hand?
Yeah Boss, I’ve got a suggestion. I think if we just got them to smile all the time while they’re onstage, people wouldn’t notice the rest of it.
Blog Guy, what happened? You kind of left us hanging. You were about to crown a new Queen of the Entire World a couple of weeks ago, and it was down to two candidates.
Remember? One was in a giant feathered headdress and the other was just back from the longest Ash Wednesday service in history.
Say, Blog Guy, whatever happened to that coveted position you used to write about, the Queen of the Entire World?
I remember you used to tell us whenever someone new got the title, but that motorcycle chick in the gold lamé swimsuit and stilettos seems to have reigned for some time now.
Get your butt in my office right now, Lamar! What’s going on out there? The fashion show starts in 30 minutes!
Boss! You told me to make sure all the girls had bikini waxes. I bought a whole case of Kiwi wax and some rollers. We got oxblood, dark brown, black….
There it is again.
The lady in the photo above is Jimena Navarrete, who was crowned Miss Universe just a couple of days ago. The one on the right is another contestant, Miss Brazil.
Both of them are doing this wacky glam pose that I guess somebody thought was sexy 100 years ago, and it just never went away.