Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Most popular posts for August: Surprise, surprise!

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It’s time to release this blog’s five most popular posts for August, and it underscores that every month I learn something new about my readers’ interests.

For instance, from the wildly popular item illustrated by this photo on the left, I learned that readers of this blog are very curious about special warfare in South Korea.

Who on earth would ever have guessed that?

Almost as baffling, it turned out readers are also quite interested in the nation of Iceland, and especially in the welfare of that country’s contestant in the Miss Universe competition.

So anyway, starting tomorrow this blog will deal in nothing but detailed reports on Iceland and the South Korean military. Go wild, readers!

Presenting the Quickini!

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Blog Guy, I’m hoping you can help me out with a fashion dilemma.

I’m a gal who likes wearing a comfy bikini on a sun-drenched beach vacation. But if there’s a really hunky guy there, I want to look my natural best, which includes enhancing my swimsuit with padding to make my you-know-whats look big.

Your feet?

No. Think about it, Blog Guy. Anyway, of course by the time I spot the hunk it’s too late to run back to the changing room, so what am I to do?

And, the ice is free here!

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Okay, members of the Iceland Citizens Group, thanks for coming on such short notice. You all know the problem.

Ingibjorg Egilsdottir, Miss Iceland, is frolicking in the Bahamas before the Miss Universe Pageant, and – I’ll be very blunt – when it’s over, why in God’s name would she leave there and return to a place called Iceland?

We don’t need none of that!

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Welcome to my brand new feature which I call, What Don’t We Need, Bob?

The rules are fairly simple. I’ll list some stuff, and you figure out what we can do without. It’s fun, let’s try it!

1) World peace

2. Free first class upgrades

3) A cure for lupus

4) Outdoor air conditioning

5} Swimsuits that look like lederhosen

Very good! ALL of you were quick to identify traditional Bavarian leather trousers as something that we don’t really need in swimsuit form in our lifetime.

The best of a very stupid month…

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I have to admit July was kind of a goofy month for this blog, and I found that no matter how close I got to the edge, lots of you were right there with me, clicking and reading.

That’s right, you folks played along with the soldier and the melons, the nose-picker, the horrible swim-up bar, even, amazingly, the real honest-to-God snake oil salesman.

What’s that thing on your HEAD, Lonnie?

Herb, Lonnie, we need to talk.

See, when I invited you to meet me here at the beach to cruise for chicks, and I told you to wear hats because of the bright sun, well…

Let me put it this way. You see this baseball cap I’m wearing? Well, that’s okay. Or maybe a straw hat or some such.

Skimpy bikinis, lots to think about!

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Hey Blog Guy, it seems like you’re always sort of making fun of fashion models. Why don’t you just once listen to what they have to say, and learn something?

That’s good advice. It so happens we have a video report on supermodel Bar Refaeli, who was the cover model for this year’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. She must have something to say, right?

Skinny Minnie and the pageant?

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Let’s face it, the human skeleton is a sexy thing. You take a bunch of bare bones, add a bikini, and you’ve got the makings of a beauty queen, right?

No, I don’t think so either, I just wanted to prepare readers for a controversy in Australia, where a contestant in the Miss Universe Australia pageant was 5’11″ tall but weighed only 108 pounds.

Meet the man of your dreams, in a flash!

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Ladies, it’s been years in the making, but thanks to genuine Midwestern Storm Cellar Door Technology, we’re proud to unveil the miracle Trashy Flashy dress!

How many times has this happened to you? You’re walking along on a sunny June day, and you’re like, ‘D’oh! It’s so nice out, if only I could get some sun!”

Revel like the devil!

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Blog Guy, I’ve noticed Reuters uses the word “reveler” quite often. I don’t know what that means.

Reveler is a useful noun with a variety of meanings:

1. Somebody who spills a jar of toothpicks on her head

2. A person who has difficulty eating corn-on-the-cob

3. A dude who is eaten alive by a crocodile

4. A guy who for some reason, possibly involving a lot of rum, thinks getting painted green is just a heck of a good idea