Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

The last huzzah?

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So this is the end. The last post for this blog.

It’s a good thing we’ve said our farewells, because this is also the last day for new comments.

Today, this site freezes in time. You can always revisit it for a little nostalgia, like that old amusement park in the creepy part of town, with all the chains and cobwebs.

Former presidential candidate Herman Cain was fond of telling his supporters, “Stupid people are ruining America!”

Well, maybe that’s true, Herman, but stupid people also provide cheap entertainment, which is a useful service. We should thank them for it, without using any big words.

She’s goin’ for your knee again, Ronald

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Blog Guy, with your blog going away soon, we need some closure regarding Ronald Basler.

You mean that total stranger whose spam keeps landing in my rbasler e-mail account?

Nine ways to lose weight and live forever

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People say to me all the time, “Bob, your blog is SO stupid, how do you get people to read it?”

These folks don’t understand how online journalism works. You can write anything you want, and if you put a good headline on it people will read it. Especially if you hint at immortality, easy weight loss or better sex.

Sorry, you’re not my type…

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Hey Blog Guy, it’s me!

Who?

Me! The guy who talks to you in italics so you can carry on pretend conversations in your blog everyday.

You really EXIST? I always thought those conversations were just voices in my head.

Hey, I never said I’m proud of myself!

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Blog Guy, I’ve just started a new blog, and I could use some advice from a veteran like yourself. What do you do if you want to get a lot of traffic, but you don’t want to work very hard for it?

That’s called cheap pandering to readers with click-bait, and blogging professionals don’t do it.

WARNING: avert your gaze!

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Blog Guy, as the proprietor of a very visual blog, can you tell me the easiest way to get people to look at a photograph?

Sure. Just tell them not to. It’s simple reverse psychology. For example, DO NOT look at the picture in this blog.

Coming soon, the Sound of Stupid…

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Blog Guy, I just heard about an exciting project involving your blog. Can you confirm it?

Yes, the last two years of my blog postings are being released as Blogs on Tape, so folks can listen to them in the car, on dates, during court arraignments, whenever.

You kids, cut that out!

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Blog Guy, we all know you work with Lamar and your two dogs and two cats, but you hardly ever mention the rest of your blog staff. Give us some information about them.

There’s Ray, the typesetter, Duke, who runs the printing presses, there’s Wall Guy, there’s Kelli the photo editor, there’s Julie, our technical…

WARNING: Contents may be too cute for some viewers

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Blog Guy, I guess this is a tough time for you. I mean, it’s summer and people are doing other things, so your blog traffic must have dropped.

Yeah, it always plummets during the summer months.

Is there anything you can do to attract readers? You know, any little tricks?

Well, normally when it gets really bad I pay a chimpanzee to feed milk to a tiger cub. Then I get photos that are adorable beyond comprehension, and run them in my blog.

Your 40,000 comments are important to us…

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Blog Guy, I see in the trade publications that your blog just hit a new milestone.

We have trade publications? Yes, I hit TWO milestones last week. I got my 30,000th follower on my Facebook Blog Network, and incredibly, I got my 40,000th reader comment, more than any of our other blogs.