Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

This train is bound for glory, this train

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Whoa! Did you see that, Clancy? Looked like Pope Benedict on that train that just went by!

Nah, it couldn’t have been, Lamar.That’s an express and the Pope takes the local.

Couldn’t he take the express and change to the local at 72nd Street?

Yeah, I guess that would work. Maybe he’s running late this morning, or he’s got a sales call before he hits the office.

I seen him once on the F Train. Real friendly guy.

No way! He say anything to you?

Yes, he said:

This train don’t carry no smokers, this train,
This train don’t carry no smokers, this train,
This train don’t carry no smokers, two-bit liars, small time jokers,
This train don’t carry no smokers, this train…

Maybe the worst idea EVER?

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People ask me where I get all the stupid stuff in this blog, and I have to say, honestly, the best of it is straight out of the news.

Here’s an example. According to an Associated Press story, officials in Georgia are considering saving money by putting prisoners in fire stations.

Creepy gets a whole lot creepier

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Okay, this story is so disturbing I’m not sure where to begin.

A city in Turkey has equipped the local morgue with the latest gadgetry in case any of the bodies stored there have been declared dead by mistake.

It seems alarms and motion detectors in the mortuary will detect the slightest movement if one of the bodies emerges from a coma or unconsciousness.

For dummies who read this blog…

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Blog Guy, you run a fairly low-tech operation, right? I mean, there’s nothing complicated about doing a humor blog.

You couldn’t be more wrong. We do consumer testing, focus groups, FDA monitoring, all that stuff.

When life is just a beer commercial…

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Advertising staff, today we’re here to honor Lamar, whose work on the Guinness Stout account has been pure genius!

Gosh, thanks, Boss. You’re much too kind…

Not at all, Lamar. Who would have thought you could get photos of Barack and Michelle Obama, Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip boldly showing Guinness Stout, all in less than a week?

Stilettos making a comeback?

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I just can’t make up stuff like this. I sure wish I could, but I can’t.

switchblade book 320Maine lawmakers have approved legalizing switchblades for people with one arm.

Our story says this will keep one-armed people from having to open folding knives with their teeth in emergencies. Really.

Name your poison, folks…

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INDONESIA/

Good evening, folks, welcome to Snake & Shake, home of the Sssssssssizzling Cobra Burger! I’ll be your server tonight. Have you decided what you want?

Yes. My wife will have the broiled lobster, please.

INDONESIA/Very good choice. Please walk on over to that tank and select your lobster, ma’am…

Buddy, can you hand me some paper?

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AUTOSHOW-GENEVA

Lamar, where the heck are you? I told you to meet me at the Motor Show.

AUTOSHOW-GENEVAI’m here, Boss. I’ll find you in a few minutes. I stopped in the men’s room by the Renault display.

Really? I just went by there and I didn’t see a men’s room.

I’m not surprised, Boss, it turns out in Switzerland they just put the stalls right out in the open. Those crazy Swiss, huh?

Don’t try any funny stuff

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clown cops 490

Blog Guy, I am foreign person you help in the past, learning English as second language. Good morning.

Good morning, foreign person. What can I do for you today?

Please explain American expression, “adding insult to injury…”

Those Volkswagens are sure making good time!

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railgun 490

U.S. Navy breaks railgun record

The U.S. Navy says it has shattered a record with its futuristic electromagnetic railgun by firing a projectile with enough force to launch 33 Volkswagen Beetles 100 miles all at once.

railgun 300 I guess I really don’t get out enough, because this video report, which I did NOT make up, is the first I’ve heard of the Navy’s so-called railgun project, with a logo and everything.