Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
What a frickin’ crap-fest of a day day this is!
Here I am, sittin’ outside under the bananas, peeling green beans! I hope my friends don’t see me. Could it get any worse?
Say, who are those goofballs coming up the street?
Hah, looks like they’re supporters of some presidential candidate, and they’re puttin’ bumper stickers on everybody’s car.
At least I’m safe, I don’t even drive. Hey, what the….!
Well, now here I am, sittin’ outside under the bananas, peeling green beans WITH A BUMPER STICKER ON MY FACE! I hope my friends don’t see me. Could it get any worse?
Say, who’s that goofball coming up the street now? Looks like a photographer…
I suppose I’m doing the same thing a lot of journalists are doing today, dusting off my J.D. Salinger interview.
When I went knocking on his door to chat with him so many years ago, he told me what he told everybody else: “Bob, I’ll talk to you, but you can only write about it when I’m gone.”
This is the best story of the year, so far.
It turns out The Beaver, a venerable history magazine in Canada, is changing its name because of the unintended sexual connotation, which has caused it to become snagged in Internet filters and has turned off potential readers.
I guess back in 1920 when the magazine was founded, a you-know-what was called something else.
Little Bo peep has lost her sheep
And hopes that they haven’t got ill
If they are found, please send them down,
To Fashion Week in Brazil
* * * *
Jack Sprat could eat no fat,
His wife could eat no lean,
They had a daughter with an eating disorder,
Who modeled in a magazine
Readers often say to me, “Bob, your blog is so freaking lame, how the hell do you get folks to click on it?”
The answer, of course, is headlines.
I shouldn’t be giving away trade secrets, but journalists know that a funny, clever, or downright misleading headline can often trick people into reading something, no matter how bad it is.
Blog Guy, I need Christmas gift shopping advice for my boyfriend. I want something really special. Help!
How about a new Beamer?
No, he already drives a Lexus and loves it.
Not a Bemer, a BEAMER! The hot new gadget this season is the Bikini Beamer 3000, which beams bikini-clad models right to his bachelor pad, in minutes.
Blog Guy, I heard there was some kind of financial disaster involving your Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop.
It’s horrible. We spent a huge portion of our 2009 acquisition budget for the photo on the right of comedian Jerry Lewis mugging in Cannes this week. We were told this was the only Jerry Lewis goofy face shot in existence.
It’s time again for our popular feature called Stuff Maybe We Should Have Explained in the Caption, but Didn’t. We’re told that this designated Swiss defense minister is in his hometown, being congratulated by chimney sweepers.
What? Cripes, I live in a whole neighborhood of Victorian homes festooned with fireplaces, and I’ve never seen this many chimney sweepers together at one time.