Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

You, who are on the oats…

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Blog Guy, I know you’re an authority on 1960s music. What’s David Crosby up to these days? I thought I saw him advertising oatmeal on television!

You’re thinking of Wilford Brimley, the white-haired actor in those ads.

No, I believe you’re confusing Brimley with that Amish guy on the Quaker Oats cartons.

He’s not Amish, he’s Quaker, or else they would be Amish Oats.

Yes, but no Quaker could play the 12-string guitar like Brimley could.

You mean like Crosby, which brings us back to your original question. The musician kind of dropped out of sight, and there are rumors that he moved to Switzerland and ran for political office under the assumed name of Luc Recordon. Clearly that clever name, “record-on,” was a tease to his many fans.

Switzerland? Wow! Cold country like that, I bet he goes through a lot of oatmeal! What was this Recordon guy’s election campaign slogan?

Can we get your big sister to wear this one?

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helfer-2-180.jpghelfer-2-180.jpgMay we talk openly? We all know the fashion industry has a history of discrimination against designs by a certain specific group of people. Don’t even try to deny it.

Which is why it’s a great step forward that a major fashion show finally accepted creations from that group, namely 14-year-old boys who enjoy science fiction.

I want your dinner and your pillow!

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bodybuilder-140.jpgQuick quiz: The guy in this photo is saying…

“Hi! Looks like we’re seatmates all the way to Tokyo!”

“You don’t mind if I fly naked, do ya Bob?

“You take the middle seat. Sometimes I have to get to the lavatory REAL fast!”

“Bob, those bloggers make me CRAZY! I’d love to get my hands on one! So what do YOU do?

Oh sure, Mom, you saw WHO?

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obama-breakfast-woman.jpgDear Patty, I’m afraid Mom has had another setback in the area of hallucinating.

She has been doing so well, but today at breakfast she dropped her fork, crawled over to the next booth to get it, and claimed she saw the Obamas and the Bidens. Like all they have to do with their time is have waffles and patty sausages here at the Yankee Kitchen!

Cheese it, Lefty! It’s Police Pope!

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police-pope-crop-140.jpgOkay guys, this action show concept is a guaranteed hit, so help me brainstorm it.

It’s called ”Police Pope!” See, this guy used to be a cop, and when he becomes the Pope he still misses police work. So they call him in on tough cases. You know, he’s out on that little balcony a lot, and when they need help they flash a signal. He puts on his cop hat, and he’s off!

This here’s Dogwood, Mister… Got treats?

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dogwood-2-180.jpgBlog Guy, I’ve heard there’s this town someplace that’s completely run by dogs. Could this possibly be true?

Yes, indeed. The dogs were given several acres of wooded land about five years ago, as an experiment to see what they could accomplish.

Papa John’s? Me ‘n’ Ernie want a million pizzas!

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Quick quiz: In this photo, a cadet is…

    playing the oldest practical joke in the book: “It’s for you, Mr. President!” helping Bush leave a voice mail drafting Scott McClellan. having Bush call his Latin professor a “big fat poo-poo head” dumping his fiancée by having Bush say, “I need Ernie for a secret mission!”

bush-crop-360.jpgPresident George Bush talks on cellphone handed to him by a cadet during Air Force Academy graduation in Colorado Springs, Colorado May 28, 2008. REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Stupid story gets much stupider

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schiller-120.jpgRecently I told you about Friedrich Schiller, the famous German writer. Folks dug up a skull they thought was his, and then 100 years later they dug up another and debated which one was really him.

Then they dug up the remains of his son and grandson for DNA comparisons, and dug up the grandson’s WIFE, because once you start digging up skulls, it’s so hard to stop.

Do you have the May issue of Nose-Picker?

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valentino-200.jpgFrom Moscow, news that some billionaire is starting a magazine named Snob. I’m serious.

This is a turning point in publishing. If he can market directly to our worst character flaws, watch out! We’ll see slick, glossy magazines like Big Jerky Butthead, and Wanton Hussy.  Subscribe to Town Drunk, and get a year of Stupid Blabbermouth, free!

Grandma, here’s your pail of BlackBerries!

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handheld-120.jpgOnce upon a time, Grandma sent her three grandchildren into the woods to gather blackberries, so she could make a fine dessert for dinner.

The first child returned with a pail of plump blackberries. The second came back with red holly berries, which happen to be poisonous. The third went into the city, pulled the Big Con Switcheroo on a bunch of dimwit business guys, and brought grandma a bucket of BlackBerry handhelds with high resale value.