Some pig farmers have a problem. In what they call a last-ditch attempt to save Britain’s pork industry, they are releasing a song on the Internet, called “Stand by your Ham.” See, it’s a reworking of “Stand by your Man,” with a porcine theme.
Oddly Enough Blog
I’m reading that runaway best-seller, “Tudor in a Tube.” It speculates that England’s first Queen Elizabeth, who died in 1603, was cloned a few years ago, and that the clone is being raised to wrest control of the monarchy from the current queen, as part of a plot against Prince Charles. Could this be true?
“Hello, I’m looking for a new bed for my six-year-old daughter.”
“Yes ma’am, I recommend this model, the Lolita…”
Excuse me? Yes, in my favorite ODD story of 2008, a shopping chain has stopped selling a child’s bed named Lolita after enraged parents pointed out that the name was synonymous with sexually active preteens. The retailer said its staff had not been aware of the connotation until, um, they looked it up on Wikipedia.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Ma’am, I’m afraid the Lolita is no longer for sale. Instead, might I suggest some other popular models, Jezebel, Hussy, Strumpet, Trollop, Nymphet…”
Memo to fashion show staff:
I should have been more specific, I guess. I did say my vision for this creation required a model with color in her face and a flower in her teeth, but I meant fiery cheeks and a perfect red rose clenched in her inviting lips.