Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Where’s your Science and Pie section?

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Hey Blog Guy, I saw a picture of President Obama browsing in a Washington, DC bookstore. That’s pretty cool, isn’t it, that the president is such a devoted reader?

Oh please…

Huh? I thought we would be on the same page about this, so to speak.

Yes, of course reading is a very good thing. But let’s not kid ourselves. Obama was at my neighborhood bookshop, Kramerbooks.

So?

Kramerbooks seamlessly connects to the Afterwords Cafe, which sells sinfully rich pies and cakes. Now, Obama’s interest in desserts and junk food has been well-covered in this blog, so what do you think he was really doing at that shop? Let’s look at all the photos.

Yep, just as I suspected. See, he feigns interest in the SCIENCE section, and the next thing you know he’s looking at red velvet cake and goober pie. See for yourself.

Who’s the cutest one of all?

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I’m going to do something a little different today.

There is this writer named Bart King, whose job is almost as much fun as mine. He turns out books with titles like “Big Book of Gross Stuff” and “Pocket Guide to Mischief.”

His latest one, called “Cute! A Guide to All Things Adorable,” has just been published, and I enjoyed it very much. Bart offers clever insight into what makes things seem cute, and why.

More jumbo gumbo, Mr. President?

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Blog Guy, have you seen that amazing new book about former first lady Jacqueline Kennedy, the one taken from hours of taped interviews with her just months after her husband was assassinated?

I have, indeed. It’s a must-read for anyone who likes fish soup.

Excuse me? Are we talking about the same book?

Sure. I’m not even finished with it, and already I’m struck by her vivid chowder memories of Jack Kennedy:

You’re a mean one, Mister Grinch…

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Man, I hope this guy is proud of himself.

But let me back up a minute.

When I was a boy, there was a Disney movie about a plucky little terrier who went to Edinburgh with his master, who then died.  The dog kept a 14-year vigil at his master’s grave, passing away himself in 1872.

Watching this as a child required more tissues than I could even carry into the theater. The movie was called “Greyfriars Bobby, the True Story of a Dog.”

The importance of…Have I used this headline before?

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It’s summer, Blog Guy, and that means lots of funny local competitions. I hope you’re monitoring those for your readers.

I’m all over it. Looks like they just had some kind of “Plump Old Coot” contest in Key West, Florida, open to guys with big guts, white beards and Boy Scout uniforms. I have a photo of six of them.

Rewriting Jane, an Austen-tatious move

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Blog Guy, I read that a handwritten draft of a Jane Austen book that was never published just sold for $1.6 million at auction. The story said it was an unfinished work. She’s my very favorite author!

Yeah, I know all about that. I was the anonymous telephone bidder who bought the draft. I’m eating barbecue ribs and reading her manuscript right now. It’s not bad.

Reading in bed just got a lot better…

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Okay Lamar, your memo said you’ve come up with a  totally new fashion concept in women’s apparel. I’m very excited, so show me what you’ve got.

Okay, Boss!  Presenting, ta-da, The Linger-Read!

The what?

It’s lingerie that you can read, Boss. So if you get bored with your partner, you can at least read what she’s wearing for entertainment.

Hot motorcycle chicks lookin’ for bald guys

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Blog Guy, will you please set up one of your famous fantasy photos for me?

What do you have in mind?

Well, I want to be in it myself. I’ll be in a train station…

Already I don’t like where this is going.

See, this gorgeous brunette – like Kate Middleton, only much prettier – dressed all in black, with stiletto boots, roars up on a big red BSA Spitfire and stops to let me on the back…

I’m gonna stop you right there, Ace. Let me take a wild guess. You’re over 60, you’re losing your hair and you’re no Brad Pitt. Am I right?

Waldo shows his true stripes…

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GEORGIA/

Okay publishing staff, we’re here to start promoting the latest volumes in our wildly popular “Where’s Waldo?” series of children’s books.

waldo combo 160Cripes, Boss, MORE Waldo books? Haven’t we run that into the ground? It’s getting easier and easier for kids to spot that guy in a red and white striped shirt!

And this is from my dumbass collection…

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Blog Guy, recently you wrote about an upcoming auction where they were going to sell a rare signed photo of the outlaw Jesse James for an expected $20,000 to $30,000. When is that auction?

pope alexander 240It’s over. It was this week, and they had autographs of Somerset Maugham, Pope Alexander VII…